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Weird Tuesday, November 23rd 2010 at 10:56 am

Philosoraptor’s 50 Wisest Musings

By Geekosystem Staff ( ) Comments

Image macro memes are a dime a dozen. But then there’s Philosoraptor, the contemplative dinosaur that makes us think even as we laugh. Originally a t-shirt design, he’s transformed into so much more, asking profound questions like “if time gets frozen and then reactivated, for how long was it frozen?” and “if a robot does ‘The Robot,’ is it still called ‘The Robot,’ or just … dancing?” Below, 50 of Philosoraptor’s wisest musings:

  1. No. 1 | Philosoraptor on Mordor

  2. No. 2 | Philosoraptor on absolutes

  3. No. 3 | Philosoraptor on qualia

    see also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qualia

  4. No. 4 | Philosoraptor on judgement

  5. No. 5 | Philosoraptor on lenses

  6. No. 6 | philosoraptor-common-cold

  7. No. 7 | Philosoraptor on communism

  8. No. 8 | Philosoraptor on agriculture

  9. No. 9 | Philosoraptor on theology

  10. No. 10 | Philosoraptor on folksy sayings

  11. No. 11 | Philosoraptor on Biblical studies

  12. No. 12 | Philosoraptor on expectations

  13. No. 13 | Philosoraptor on Final Fantasy

  14. No. 14 | Philosoraptor on Congress

  15. No. 15 | Philosoraptor on birds of a feather

  16. No. 16 | Philosoraptor on Free Will

  17. No. 17 | Philosoraptor on The Game

  18. No. 18 | Philosoraptor on genetics

  19. No. 19 | Philosoraptor being all meta

  20. No. 20 | Philosoraptor on Internets

  21. No. 21 | Philosoraptor on knowledge

  22. No. 22 | Philosoraptor on The Flintstones

  23. No. 23 | Philosoraptor on Mac vs. Windows

  24. No. 24 | Philosoraptor on Marsquakes

  25. No. 25 | Philosoraptor on prunes

  26. No. 26 | Philosoraptor on Gaga

  27. No. 27 | Philosoraptor on Memes

  28. No. 28 | Philosoraptor on the death penalty

  29. No. 29 | Philosoraptor on now

  30. No. 30 | Philosoraptor on the pen vs. the sword

  31. No. 31 | Philosoraptor on careers

  32. No. 32 | Philosoraptor on eschatology

  33. No. 33 | Philosoraptor on possibilities

  34. No. 34 | Philosoraptor on X-Men

  35. No. 35 | Philosoraptor on The Matrix

  36. No. 36 | Philosoraptor on risks

  37. No. 37 | Philosoraptor on robotics

  38. No. 38 | Philosoraptor on Harry Potter

  39. No. 39 | Philosoraptor on herpetology

  40. No. 40 | Philosoraptor on Pinocchio

  41. No. 41 | Philosoraptor on innovation

  42. No. 42 | Philosoraptor on friendship

  43. No. 43 | Philosoraptor on synonymy

  44. No. 44 | Philosoraptor on perception

  45. No. 45 | Philosoraptor on relativity

  46. No. 46 | Philosoraptor on toasters

  47. No. 47 | Philosoraptor on nutrition

  48. No. 48 | Philosoraptor on logic

  49. No. 49 | Philosoraptor on vegetarianism

  50. No. 50 | Philosoraptor on certainty

(all images drawn from Reddit, MemeGenerator, MemeBase, KYM, and various Google image searches; check out Lonely Dinosaur for some more fun designs)

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  • 109

    noooo it means people toast toast.

  • 109

    noooo it means people toast toast.

  • Philosoraptorlive

    Is this the real philosoraptor? Way too funny X)

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNu1uy4VZsA&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

  • denise_chocolate98

    I’ve thought that so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • denise_chocolate98

    I’ve thought that so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Philosoraptorlive

    Philosoraptor philosophising about how magnets work.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8aUthWXb7I&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL

  • Rohan Warkad

    i read all of these at one go and now my logic is distorted forever…

  • Nkjsdncsndjcdn

    HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

  • ThePersonI’mReplyingToHatesFun

    No it’s following the formula.

    Guns(x) don’t kill(z) people(y), people(y) kill(z) people(y)=(x) don’t/doesn’t (z) (y), (y) (z) (y)Toasters(x) don’t toast(z) toast(y), toast(y) toast[s](z) toast(y)

    And there you have it.

  • GrammarNazi

    toast toastS toast. if the toast is singular, then the verb must conjugate! the formula is flawed!

  • Thesesecretswillkillus

    It’s funny how none of you have considered the fact that you actually toast bread…not toast. Just sayen’.

  • Buzz Killington

    People/Toasters/Toast toast BREAD :|

  • Iexloveyaxei

    toasters toast bread

  • Ff347

    noone cares

  • http://www.facebook.com/softfur Teo Sprock

    “if camera lenses are round, how come pictures turn out rectangular?”

    :D :D :D

  • Shut Up Ass Hole

    Why does it have to be singular? The plural of ‘toast’ can still be ‘toast’, so if multiple pieces of toast are doing the toasting, then ‘toast toast toast’ makes sense. This sticks with the formula too, because of ‘people’ being the plural of ‘person’, its not ‘person kills person’ is it? It’s ‘people kill people’. Plural-verb-plural. ‘Toast toast toast’ follows this formula.
    For a Grammar Nazi, you don’t seem too rigorous in your execution of witty, grammatical put downs and corrections.

  • Toast Expert

    You guys are all wrong. Toasters toast bread

  • Donnreidy2

    Nope cause a toaster don’t toast toast

    A toaster toast bread

  • Scorpion_essence

    Umm. A toaster toasts bread. 

  • Tzenmoroth

    FAILED GrammarNazi

  • ToastersAreTheInBetween

    Toasting is the process of heating bread as to harden it into toast, yes? Then people cannot toast toast. Toasters toast toast. However it can be said that people toast toast by using a toaster as a medium, just as people kill people by using a gun.

  • That Guy

    He’s more like a wannabe-grammar-fanatic-in-making.

    -ThePersonWhoRepliedToThePersonI’mReplyingToHatesFunHatesFun

  • Mark crazeer

    yes there is another word for synonym it is poecilonym.

  • yo momma

    is there another word for thesaurus

  • Politely Submitted

    Toast, unlike people, is not a plural noun in the strict sense.  Instead it’s an innumerable noun, like bread or butter.  Hence, toast toastS toast.

  • NotMICEelf

    Nooo people toast bread. Why would you toast toast if its already toast? Then it would be burnt toast >_>

  • VikingSasquatch

    You don’t toast toast.
    You toast bread.

  • Lygee_9

    Toasters dont toast toast, toasters toast bread

  • Josiahlenton

    and you don’t toast toast, you toast bread!

  • Johnson Brian39825

    Obviously if time was frozen it wasn’t frozen for any amount of time. Assuming time could be frozen, no duration actually occurs.  Its completely possible that time stops a lot, and we as being trapped in the space-time continuum cannot perceive that time has indeed stopped, so when time starts up again, we continue to affect our space as we were previously since we cant fathom that anything actually occurred. Duh.

  • Flabawoogl

    A synonym of synonym is equivalent or 
    metonym

  • Goh-min_feng

    if people kill people,and toaster does not toast toast,wont toasters be strong enough to kill people?

  • Asdfghjkl

    there is no synonym for synonym
    asdfghjkl
    stupid post

  • geekgirl84

    Mind blown

  • fdjkjghgh

    BTW One story I heard is that Final Fantasy is called Final Fantasy because the coders were broke and scratched together their last money to make their “Final Fantasy” before the company ended up bankrupt. If it is true, then things turned out quite well for them =)

  • hmmmm

    wouldn’t bread have to toast toast?

  • Moviedude929

    sorry to says that most of the time… toasters toast bread… into toast.

  • Anonymous

    toast toast, toast toast toast

  • DDay

    if “people” is plural, it implies “toast” is plural as well, so “toast” is the correct verb, not “toasts.”

  • TrueStory

     i toast toast.

  • Anonymous

    When toasters are outlawed only outlaws will have toasters

  • http://www.facebook.com/joel.morgan.71 Joel Morgan

    If 46 refers to a full sentence, does that mean that statement is false?

  • RadiumRose

    No.  It means that people toast bread, which becomes toast once the toasting has occurred.

  • Start

    He invented it.

  • Zippy0723

    if pinocho said his nose would grow now the world would explode in a flaming inferno

  • Snbrehm3

    Atoms and particles do not behave in a probabilical way have u heard nothing of unceartanty principle?

  • Meowzers

    God had everything planned out before he created the universe

  • Blacksmith234

    You care enough to post that no one cares.

    Ergo, you care, so the statement is false.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/TAXWM5FRLSTKUTBEAJYSFRGSNE Tristan Glover

    toaster dont toast toast, toast toast toast? ARGH mind rape!

  • http://www.jatheon.com/why-jatheon/why-archive/email-archiving/ email archiving

     Really noone cares!

  • Kevinya-yang

    When you say this out loud its soo funny xD

  • Suroman

    RIGHT as we are watching Lord Of The Rings, and that dude just said ‘One cannot simply walk into Mordor.’
    COINCIDENCE?
    I.
    THINK.
    NOT.
    <3 You Legolas! <3 Sexy and he knows it. 

  • Xelbms

    The Euthyphro spoof was funny

  • Smckinnon

    And acutly toast does toast toast toast not bread because you don’t put bread in for bread you put it in toast

    Get it

    Get it

  • Smckinnon

    Of you get what I mean

  • Neelvasishta

    Photos are rectangular because the camera’s sensor is rectangular

  • Noch

    what are you tailing about

  • Noch

    fuckkccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk you

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/Y55GPRWHKJY37JYUFGW2MTPKRM Trevor Lombardo

     i toast toast

  • Jeremy1158

    Why do the Flintstones have Christmas? Because Christmas is based on a more than 6,000 year old pagan tradition, duh!

  • Jamesstevensdigart

    The correct analogy would be “Toasters don’t toast bread. People toast bread.”

  • Porfi86

    only if you consider the first toast to be singular.  Toast can be plural and since people is plural toast must be as well

  • Jack

    A toaster toasts bread

  • Ruigomesdasilva

    Camera sensors are rectangular…that’s why images are rectangular. Not philosoraptor worthy…

  • Thomas

    the toast toast toast stuff does not matter, its just a counterexample, guns have no choice in the matter. if, by terrible and unplanned coincedence, a gun falls off of the top of a building and lands on the ground and misfires, killing a bystander, could you really blame it on the gun, did the gun choose to fall and misfire. could you ever truly blame it on the gun in any situation. the simple answer is no. the gun does not even have a mind or spirit. furthermore, one cannot argue that the gun,”should have known better and acted recklessly killing a person(people)”, because it has no conscience, will or intention. but people can choose and will choose to kill, whether it be with a gun, a knife or anything else.

  • John trollstan

    What if the bread brand is called “Toast”? Then do you toast Toast?

  • Moneyisaproblem

    Knowledge may be power…

    But doesnt absolute power corrupt absolutely?
    deeeeeep 

  • Anonymous

    sill communism or seal communism?

  • Al Batross

    One cute, original musing in 50 attempts. (“What if there were no hypothetical questions?.”) The ‘Net has really lowered the bar.

  • CLYDESMITH

    polyjuiception

  • SadDayForSociety

    @Politely Submitted
    U are right. u would say ‘the toast tastes good’ u would never say ‘the toast taste good’. That last sentence tasted bad to say! plah

  • SadDayForSociety

    Only at first. Once it starts to toast, it becomes toast, and if you continue toasting, then u are toasting toast. And if you don’t think it applies unless it is the initial state of the bread/toast that matters…then i say what if they toasted bread, it popped up and it wasn’t done enough for their taste and then put it in for longer. Bam toasting toast
    and yes Im toasted

  • thoth

    people toast bread

  • Random_guy

    Nope, it isn’t

  • MikeyZ

    @ PhilosoraptorOnPinocchio:
    He would not be allowed to mess with metamagicphysics, because that creates a paradoxical shift in the system.

  • MikeyZ

    @ RaptorOnRelativity: I dunno. The timer broke!

  • MikeyZ

    @Raptor on Logic:
    PARADOX ERROR:
    Details:

    INFINITE LOOP ERROR: MEMORY OVERFLOW

    TERMINATING THE MOTHERBOARD…

  • MikeyZ

    @RaptorOnVetatarianism:

    No, it’s called a banana.

  • Mattrix

    Xavier is Telepathic, not Telekinetic.

  • Anonymous

    Marsquake doesn’t make sense, earthquakes are caused from tectonic collisions caused from moving plates acted upon by a molten, solid iron orb. Since Mars has no tectonic plates or motlen iron core, it can have no earthquakes.
    Earth also has two meanings Earth (Planet also known as Terra) and ground or dirt.

  • lel

    no if communism has leaders its not communism, its socialism. We’ve never had a communsit nation.

  • http://www.facebook.com/Troy.Moses25 Troy T M Moses

    Toasters toast bread. They only toast toast when bread has become toasted enough to be considered toast. In which case, you’re burning it.

  • Kevin

    nuh uh it means toasters toast toast toast, because people use the guns.

  • randomname

    Communism does have leaders: Marx admitted that the proletariat are basically too dumb to save themselves/recognize the oppression. they would need a “vanguard of the proletariat” to lead them.

  • René Diff

    My mind is truely fuck’d…

  • mstosl

    Toasters toast (bread). Killers kill (people). Killers are people; therefore, people kill people. Guns don’t kill. Does that make sense?

  • Evan Meyer

    But the Flintstones live in a ‘hypothetical ‘caveman’ time, before Christmas ever came around.

  • Xanatar

    If i had a pound for every time someone said toast….

  • Anonymous

    Dude, he’s paraplegic AND telepathic. And mildly telekinetic.

  • Anonymous

    If you are happy to live in a bread-only world, almost completely free of charred and ruined toast remains (as people do in plenty of other nations) then you may reasonably conclude that the easiest way to keep toasters away from toastards is make toasters harder to come by, or, alternatively, and to mix the metaphorical meanings, only sell sliced bread in ‘loaves’ that contain very few rounds, so that idiots (of which there are many) could not burn so much toast, so rapidly.

    Besides, it was a joke where one word (toast) was both the noun and the verb.

  • Anonymous

    The winter solstice, which is what Christmas is, happened back in caveman times too.

  • Anonymous

    If that is true they finally succeeded when they made the film.

  • Anonymous

    As far as Hawking is concerned, time stops inside a black hole. Yet continues outside. Time is not absolute. Therefore, it cannot corrupt absolutely.

  • Anonymous

    Word book.

  • Anonymous

    If you people (below and throughout) aren’t toasting, racking, and retoasting your toast, then you’re eating moist-assed crappy-toast with no proper crunch that is particularly unsatisfying with soup, compared to racked and double-toasted toast. Now that is ToasT that starts and ends with a capital T.

  • Velexia Ombra

    After reading many of these comments, the word “toast” looks absolutely ridiculous… To ast… what the hell. who comes up with these words?

  • WhatIf

    What if the person eating breakfast belongs to an Eastern religion? Then the Taoist toasts Toast.

  • http://twitter.com/jdzyn Joshua&JulieDonini

    no… toasters toast bread, silly!

  • The ArtLioness

    Finally a brilliant, accurate view from a frequent visitor to the Outer Limits, on their way to the Twilight Zone. My Kinda Raptor.

    Lover of Chameleons, All Felines and Especially Lions,
    The Artlioness

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Mare-Shaffer/1492375493 Mare Shaffer

    Sounds like me as a child

  • http://twitter.com/these4strings Emlyn Jones

    Yeah Philosoraptor!

  • TheOne

    “What was the best thing before sliced bread”?

    Duh…. MASSIVE SANDWICHES!!!!

  • TheOne

    That’s not original…. its been around longer than the internet.

    Why are people so whiney on comment sections…

  • TheOne

    It was all just for fun….. these comments re maddening, arguing for hours over toast, talking about how cameras really work, discussing the inner workings of communism… it carries on and on.

    GET OVER YOURFSELF!! ITS A JOKE!!!.. if your so brilliant, I doubt you’d be on here commenting. I know why you comment on internet pages, because your friends don’t reply anymore because your annoying.

  • Anonymous

    They didn’t call it Christmas, though

  • Anonymous

    You’re right they didn’t. But the writers had to translate the entirety of the Flintstones into English, otherwise it would have lost a lot of its documentary value.

  • Jackass Walking

    will you all just shutup you are wasting tine you could use to get a job and move out your grandmother`s house

  • http://www.facebook.com/juan.aldana.93 Juan Aldana

    “The next sentence is true… the previous sentence is false” just means that the first sentence is true and the second is false.

  • http://twitter.com/richardsmoore1 richardsmoore

    2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening…And whats awesome is Im working from home so I get more time with my kids. Heres where I went,
    ………………wow93.com CHECK IT
    OUT

  • http://www.facebook.com/anthony.daens Anthony Daens

    toasters dont toast toast, toast toast toast lolol