The Elder Scrolls: My So-called Life as a Dark Elf

I'm not by any means what most people would consider a gamer. I'm mostly obsessed with word games (Scrabble, Boggle) and I used to be obsessed with chess (which I had to quit after one 6-hr long match that gave me heart palpitations). These days I don't have much time to immerse myself in games, due to the whole "I have to be a responsible adult and go outside sometimes" part of life, so I end up playing those casual games designed for people who don't have time for more involved gaming. There is, however, a game that I occasionally let myself get utterly lost in, and that's The Elder Scrolls series. The first one I ever played was Morrowind, and what a rapturous experience it was! I loved the feeling of infinite space, that you could walk from one end of the game world to the other without ever being stopped by artificial walls. Almost everything in the game could be picked up, opened, or harvested, and I delighted in collecting things. At the time, I was in graduate school trying to get a PhD in English, and feeling utterly lost and unmotivated. After three years, the romanticized vision I had of being a literature professor had faded away and all that was left was the realization that I may have made a mistake, one that cost me a lot of money. I was waitressing more often than I was going to my classes, and finances were about as tight as they'd ever been.

The Dark Side of Geekification

Geeks are enjoying a massive cultural renaissance right now, something we should all be rejoicing in. It’s not every decade you get to enjoy all your favorite scifi/fantasy novels made into movies, see geeks at the center of popular television shows, find a game/comic book/anime convention near you almost every weekend of the year, or overhear conversations about stuff you love on the subway, in a restaurant, just about everywhere. It’s a freaking smorgasbord! But right now, we're in the midst of a serious crisis of geek identity. Geeks are more visible in popular culture than ever before. What used to be the secret shame of being a geek is now all mixed up with ideals of success, popularity, and even sexual attractiveness. The world is upside down. MY world is upside down. >>>Full essay at The Mary Sue.

The Dark Side of Geekification

Geeks are enjoying a massive cultural renaissance right now, something we should all be rejoicing in. It's not every decade you get to enjoy all your favorite scifi/fantasy novels made into movies, see geeks at the center of popular television shows, find a game/comic book/anime convention near you almost every weekend of the year, or overhear conversations about stuff you love on the subway, in a restaurant, just about everywhere. It's a freaking smorgasbord! It's also a cultural moment that Patton Oswalt infamously declared should die, and quickly. His geek culture death knell sent the internet into paroxysms, as they raised their pitchforks against old man Oswalt, that geek Grinch who hates the kids. Many argued that cultural assimilation is a part of the natural cycle of popular culture -- yesterday's punk rock is today's mall rock. And just because geek culture is everywhere doesn't mean it's any less brilliant, right?

The Economist on WikiLeaks, and Why I Disagree

WikiLeaks has released a massive database of confidential US embassy cables, often detailing major discrepancies between what happens in the scrubbed version of government we’re privy to on our televisions and the reality of what’s happening behind closed doors. The Economist saw WikiLeaks’ most recent airing of dirty US laundry as a step down into the realm of “gossip” and “tattling,” and that publishing the cables en masse was socially irresponsible:

Diplomatic cables are something entirely different. It’s part of the nature of human communication that one doesn’t always say the same thing to every audience. There are perfectly good reasons why you don’t always tell the same story to your boss as you do to your spouse. There are things Washington needs to tell Riyadh to explain what it’s just told Jerusalem and things Washington needs to tell Jerusalem to explain what it’s just told Riyadh, and these cables shouldn’t be crossed. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s inevitable.

I completely disagree.

Oh Hell Yes: Darth Vader Will Now Voice Your GPS Directions

I don’t have a TomTom device. I don’t even have a car. But this is technological geek synchrony at its best: For the next few months, those of you who do have these magical GPS devices will be able to have Darth Vader, C3PO, Yoda, and Han Solo order you to “turn left” or “proceed ahead at the light”. One step closer to something I’ve always wanted: For the subway stop announcements to be voiced by the greats of science fiction. Imagine if Patrick Stewart were to announce “The next stop is Essex St. Engage.” Commuting would be so FUN! Demo video after the jump:

Stargate Universe: Conflict, Realism, and Boobgate

I’ve been putting off watching the remainder of Stargate Universe’s first season because, to be perfectly honest, it’s kind of a drag to watch.

The two previous television incarnations of the Stargate mythos—SG-1 and Atlantis—worked well as formula genre television. There were really fun good guys, really entertaining, over-the-top bad guys (seriously, Apophis), plenty of space battles, aliens, and cool retro-future steampunk civilizations to explore on a weekly basis.

SGU is a willing departure into a more “real” science fictional world. When The Destiny’s accidental human crew encounter alien technology, they aren’t able to figure it out in all of 5 seconds. They’re also susceptible to the “real” emotional strain of being trapped in another galaxy on a mysterious ship with no idea where they’re heading and if they’ll ever get home. That, it seems, is the whole point of SGU- to prove to the audience that real space exploration, should humans ever get to try it, will not be all “open hailing frequencies” and exciting human-alien relationships, but an intense psychologically challenging experience that will force us to question everything we think we know about ourselves.

You know, kinda like … BSG, except without any appealing characters.

Two Neat Hypothetical Books We (Partly) Wish We Owned

1. Wikipedia as a printed book. Wouldn’t it be great to own the complete, printed Wikipedia? In reality, not so much. You see, this bound beauty represents just 0.01% of everything on Wikipedia (as of June 2009..). But it also reminds me of different times, when knowledge was nicely bound in finite volumes from A-Z, like snapshots of an era. If you still own encyclopedias, never throw them away! I would hate to lose that record of what Brittanica was thinking about the the World back in 1987.
2. The Complete Bound Ferengi 285 Rules of Acquisition:

The Romulan Corkscrew: Or, How To Begin Squandering Your Tax Refund

Feeling the doldrums because your tax refund is significantly lower than the price of a 64gb iPad?  Me too!  Don't worry--it's just a sign from Steve that he wants the impulsive early adopters to work out all the kinks before you swoop in for the iPad 2.0.  Until then, you can do your part to micro-fund the economy by picking up your very own Romulan Corkscrew.

This badass uncorking device costs $19.99 at ThinkGeek, and is modeled after a Romulan Bird of Prey, complete with a twisted disruptor up front that should effectively decimate any cork in sight.  In case your local intergalactic grocer doesn't carry any legendarily potent, iconically blue Romulan Ale, here's a recipe for you to try at home:

The Best iPad Cases Apple Isn’t Officially Making

Whenever Apple releases a new product, you can always find slick cases and carriers from companies like Belkin and InCase that come in your choice of neoprene or silicone and a host of predictable colors and patterns. While silicone and neoprene are great for implants and scuba diving, I usually turn to Etsy to see what more design-oriented and textile-friendly cases its crowd of crafters have whipped up. After all, if you've just dropped hundreds on an iPad, why throw a perfunctory sleeve over it when you can dress it in fabulously tactile materials like mottled leather, felted wool, and linen? Here are my top picks for the discerning iPad user:

Today in “Umm”: New XBox 360-Based “Adult Social Site” for Gamers

The new Xbox 360-based "adult social site" GameCrush" was available for beta until 10,000+ guys signed up at once and forced the service to temporarily close, presumably because the female "PlayDates" can only handle so many users at once.

Um, EWWWW!

What's GameCrush, you ask?  You know those really annoying commercials that come on television late at night, offering you the chance to talk with real, live girls on the telephone?  Usually there's a busty, halter-top wearing, orange-hued young lady twirling her highlighted hair while holding a telephone to her ear and claiming she wants to talk to you, when in reality she wants a real acting job but posing for Quest was the best she could get.  Anyways, GameCrush is a lot like that, only replace the phone call with an Xbox live session that can be either "flirty" or "dirty," and voila!