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Uncategorized Friday, August 31st 2012 at 2:40 pm

Bill Nye Is Not Dead, Nor Did He Threaten Violence Against Anyone on Television

Okay, Internet. We need to have a talk about the way you have been treating Bill Nye, because it’s not cool.

To start the week off, Nye saw Twitter fake his death, resulting in a slew of tweets mourning the very-much-alive-and-well Nye. This was a particularly cruel trick to play on legions of  grieving nerds, coming as it did on the heels of the all-too-real passing of Neil Armstrong. But hey, it’s Twitter, and Twitter is good for nothing if not faking celebrity deaths. Yesterday, though, Nye got hit with another round of phony news about him when B-grade satire siteThe Daily Currant –  posted a fake story about Nye calling Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin “a fucking idiot” on television. It didn’t happen, of course, because come on you guys, this is Bill Nye, but it managed to get picked up and spread around as an actual thing, and this just needs to stop.

To its credit, Daily Currant has taken down the article, but not before it picked up more than 23,000 Likes on Facebook, many from people who thought it was for realsies.

Look, we get it. Bill’s a nice, well-mannered dude, and sometimes, there’s just nothing we’d love to see more than a really nice, smart guy go all Falling Down and just utterly lose his shit on the loudmouth idiots of the world. Because, man, who among us doesn’t feel the need to do that sometimes?

It’s not going to happen. The dude wears bowties and gets excited about space travel and asks people very politely to think about how they raise their children for the good of the whole world. He does not assail stupid politicians for saying stupid things, no mater how satisfying it would be to watch that. He does not use phrases like rape stork.” Let us state that once more, because it is information you need: Given an infinite number of alternate universes, there are none in which the words “rape stork” have ever or will ever pass Bill Nye’s lips.

So here’s the deal: If you’re a Bill Nye fan — and if you’re a fan of this site, you probably are, being a person of clearly good taste with a finely honed curiosity about science, and yes, someone who is pretty attractive to boot – think before you pass on stuff like this. Check your sources. Confirm that things you are presenting to people are facts, rather than “fact-shaped objects” or “things that I would like to be facts.” That’s not responsible. It’s not a thinking, reasoned person’s action. The Science Guy taught us better than that.

As to the prospect of Bill Nye delivering vigilante justice, that’s more of an open book. For reference, there is one sure-fire way to tell when Bill Nye is about to get his crime-fight on. He will be wearing short shorts and a cape. If you see this, you will know that things have officially gotten real, and no evil will escape his sight.

We’ve reached out to Bill for his take on all this shazzbot, and will be sure to update you when he responds.

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  • Thisguy

    Have Bill do an AMA!

  • ev1lpoptart

    he already did.

  • ME

    he just did a couple weeks ago

  • Jack Bond

    Bill is good at kindergarten science. His show was good for little children, but his worldview is far too reliant on the unproven, and he even chides people for believing differently. I don’t respect him as an authority on anything… all the same, he is well intentioned, and I would know he wouldn’t curse someone out… He’d just passive aggressively tell them they’re stupid.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Padric-OFish/100001855682804 Padric O’Fish

    I smell a global warming denier.

  • You Are Retarted

    People like you are the reason people like Todd Akin actually have a chance.

  • http://twitter.com/EliasAlgorithm Elias Algorithm

    This probably has to do with the “teaching children to ignore the provable is child abuse” thing.

  • The Truth

    I think you have Bill Nye confused with Bill O’Reilly…

  • Science Has no Age

    Um sorry but…science is science. There is no difference between whether something is real or not based on the “age level’ science is taught to. You pump chemicals into the air, it’s gonna effect the earth and anyone who doesn’t think so is seriously naive. Sperm fertilizes egg, you get a baby. Doesn’t matter under what circumstance in which the sperm got the opportunity to meet said egg (i.e rape or willing sex) it’s gonna happen. Science also doesn’t care if you agree with it or not. Doesn’t make it any less factual.

  • Anonymous

    He took a recent shot at creationists.

  • Vuhrami

    He did get trounced pretty bad on Larry King by Stan Friedman…

  • http://twitter.com/rayban5016 Ray O.

    Close mined fool. Bill Nye is an enviro-polotical nut job. His politics come before science.

  • http://twitter.com/rayban5016 Ray O.

    The Truth? More like the The Ignorant.

  • http://twitter.com/rayban5016 Ray O.

    And you’re a global warming alarmist? There are two sides to climatology. Beware of the side that claims absolute knowledge of a science and that all naysayers are heretics. That’s kinda what the commie’s and Nazi’s did to gain power and it doesn’t end well for freedom. So before you spout your self-righteous mouth off, remember that there is are scientists out there that say global warming has little to do with man. Lastly, your sides solution gives the UN and Federal Government complete control over our lives.

  • Anonymous

    I’m still waiting for him to disprove my Herbivore Hypothesis. He seems to be too busy proving there is no God.

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, there are two sides. There are those who believe in climate change, and there are those who are wrong.

  • Beaker

    Accepting that evolution is factual does not mean you are denying god. The two are not mutually exclusive. More people may be inclined to investigate creationism/intelligent design if its supporters could provide a single shred of tangible evidence that creationism/ID is the way that life has proceeded since its inception. problem is, none exists.

  • http://twitter.com/rayban5016 Ray O.

    See… close mined. And no one is disputing Climate Change…. it is mans contribution to it that is being debated. Or do you just shout down everyone that disagrees with your view?

  • Bobby

    Man made or not – it is a problem for man. Solutions are needed, not arguing over if you still have the right to heat your house with the windows open and buy an F-350 to get you to work and back in the city

  • Bobby

    And your point is?

  • Joseph Brown

    Never believe the quotes you read on the Internet – Plato

  • Jack Bond

    True. You pump chemicals into the air, it’s going to affect* the earth. But scientifically speaking, you need to have a certain amount to make an effect. The amount of CO2 humans have added to the earth via technology is negligible compared to that released by livestock. The earth did fine before technology and it has nothing to worry about now.
    Just because someone told you it makes sense doesn’t mean it’s undisputed fact. I’m willing to compromise and say neither of us can be totally sure, but don’t give me the “It’s fact and you’re wrong” nonsense. Scientific knowledge rides a lot on assumption, and that creates a ripple effect of unsureness.

  • Jack Bond

    Additionally, yes, there is an age for science. In kindergarten you learn about what snowflakes look like, and the names of the seasons. By 18 years old you learn about chemical reactions.
    Bill Nye is good at giving nifty science facts to little children, but when it comes to adult science, he’s grossly misinformed.

  • Jack Bond

    Actually the fact that it’s not man-made has a lot of importance. Because man produces little of the CO2, that leaves most of the responsibility of emissions to natural sources. There was no threat of global warming before technology arrived, and therefore there can be no threat now. Let the climate cycle as it always has, and stop wasting time, money, and environmental sanitation in a vain attempt to make the earth a little colder.

  • http://www.facebook.com/franklin.king.90 Franklin King

    referring to the video Speedwalker, I wonder if he could out fitness Sportacus from Lazy Town? >XoD