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Weird Tuesday, January 14th 2014 at 3:29 pm

Shut The Internet Down, There’s A Professionally Shot Brony-Themed Porn In Existence

Yep, this planet is oficially ruined. Let's go populate a new one.

pony

So apparently a press release for “Adult Entertainment’s 1st Brony-Themed Movie” just went out. Want to know how we know this? Because a whole bunch of people on that e-mail list took to Twitter at once to document their shrieking, horrified agony.

Now, we should, of course, bring a little more context into this. The press release reportedly says “Brony-themed,” but judging by some of the follow-up tweets, it appears to be more My Little Pony themed. Or, well, Chris Sims puts it better:

My Little Pony-themed porn for bronies is not actually a new idea, because the world we live in is already full of such horrors. But as far as we can tell (and admittedly we did not attempt to dig into it for very long because GAAAAHHHHHH), previous iterations of the medium generally involved bronies drawing and/or writing independently for other bronies. Which, okay, sure. Whatever floats your creepy weirdo boat, as long as you keep your… passions to yourself as a community. This film we’re talking about, however, appears to be the first time that an adult entertainment with professional connections and resources has attempted to capitalize on the Brony phenomenon.

And why are they doing it? To sell pony-themed butt plugs. Specifically, to sell “Tasha Reignbow Pony Plugs.” (that’s a Jezebel link, but it does feature people, erm, modeling the product, so it’s still pretty NSFW).

So based on all of these context clues, we’re guessing that the film in question is Tasha’s Pony Tales, which was produced by Reign Productions and which, regrettably exists. It happened to skip right by us somehow, but there’s a three-week old trailer and everything that was making the rounds this Christmas.

This is also pretty NSFW, but there’s no actual sex. It’s just going to make you feel very uncomfortable. Especially when the “centaurs” show up.

Yeah, we’re gonna guess that’s definitely meant to be straight.

This, of course, raises more questions. The company’s figurehead, we’ve no doubt you’ve noticed, is female porn actor Tasha Reign. So is she… actually into this? Or is she doing the pony thing because she knows how big an untapped market it is? Is this her company or is she just a figurehead doing what some sleazy porn producers are telling her to do? Reveal to us your secrets, Tasha Reign.

Wait actually, don’t. You know what? We’re good. Have fun over there being sex ponies or whatever. We’ll just… we’ll just be over here, pretending we never bothered to look into any of this.

No word on what the actual porn-loving community of bronies thinks about any of this, because we were scared to ask.

(via Twitter, Topless Robot, Jezebel, image via My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)

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