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Uncategorized Monday, December 17th 2012 at 10:30 am

Unrepentant Florida Donkey Diddler Accepts Plea Deal, Will Continue To Fight For His Right To Donkey Sex

Last week, we brought you the latest developments in the case of Carlos Romero, a Florida farmhand allegedly caught in a sexually compromising position with a miniature donkey named Doodle. It would appear that the judge in the case, Steven Rogers, did not grant the argument made by Romero’s lawyers that laws on the books in Florida prohibiting sexual contact with animals violated the U.S. Constitution, a fact which is to Florida’s credit. Today, we bring you news that should bring some kind of merciful closure to this sordid affair — but probably won’t — as Romero has accepted a plea bargain.

The plea Romero accepted will see him serve no jail time, but will pay a $200 fine and be on probation for one year, and will also require that he undergo STD testing and submit himself for a psychosexual evaluation. It also prohibits him from having contact with children or animals, a fact that will no doubt complicate Romero’s finding work as a farmhand, though we are forced to assume that the whole “admitted, unrepentant animal molester” thing would already complicate Romero’s upcoming job search in that august field.

Those of you who have been following this story — and if you have, we really can’t apologize enough — may recall that this is the same plea deal that Romero turned down as unfair in October. So what’s changed? Well, the judge in the case denied claims by Romero’s lawyers that the law against sex with animals is unconstitutional, writing in part:

“Upon reviewing the subject statute, this Court is confident that a person of ordinary intelligence would have ample notice that sexual conduct or sexual conduct (as defined by the statute) with a donkey is prohibited.”

Romero, who has admitted to having sex with horses in the past, but claimed only to be grooming Doodle for sex in the future, plans to appeal the court’s decision, and cited the fact that he can do more work on that appeal on probation than while serving time in jail. For those of you playing along at home, this marks Romero’s official transition from Horse Sex Aficionado to Crusading Horse Sex Rights Activist.

Oh, and did we say we were almost done with this one? Maybe not so much — stay tuned next Friday, when Romero is supposed to be back in court fighting Marion County for custody of the donkey, Doodle.

(via Ocala Sun)

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  • Anonymous

    hahahahaha!

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=687991878 Dave Diem Martinez

    Please oh please let your “donkey diddler” catch on among the media – that is some funny headline work right there mang.

  • Jack Bond

    So equal opportunity employment doesn’t apply to those who like to have sex with animals? That’s totally fair. It figures the judge doesn’t want to be labeled a bestiality enabler, but it sure is spineless to do so. At least this guy doesn’t have to go to jail. The restriction of Romero’s freedoms is pretty appalling, but at least he can still go about his daily business, sans a sex life.

  • Anonymous

    Its silly that killing animals is perfectly fine, but if you have sex with them that’s a big no no.