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No

No

Microwave Math

by James Plafke | 11:20 am, February 17th

For the sake of Remmy P (or whoever decided to troll Yahoo), I took the above question seriously and set out on a journalistic journey to the office microwave behind my desk and performed a series of tests. I gave Remmy P the benefit of the doubt. She deserved it, after all. Our microwave doesn’t have an “add 60 seconds” button, only an “add 30 seconds” button, which I laboriously had to press four times during one testing phase. Our microwave also doesn’t have an “add 1 minute” button, so I had to again laboriously press “time cook,” then type in the one minute’s worth of time. Now, after sufficient research (the results of which I scribbled down on a pad so I could check for mistakes) I have determined: Come on, yo. Although, I’m fully hoping that Remmy P’s microwave has some sort of wacky defect that actually returns the results she inquired about, and she’s never used another microwave to know that the rest of them work in the way that normal math dictates, rather than how she didn’t realize that minutes don’t count up to one hundred.

(reddit via Ufunk)

No

Report: China Manufacturing Plastic Rice, Selling It as Real Food

by Max Eddy | 4:30 pm, February 8th

In what is the most diabolical thing I have read today, a report from Very Vietnam alleges that some Chinese food producers are creating synthetic rice out of potatoes, sweet potatoes, and plastic. The “rice” is made by mixing the potato material together, shaping it into grains, and then adding an “industrial resin” as a binding agent. Very Vietnam says that these resins can be very harmful if eaten. Going on to indicate exactly how much plastic is involved, the website says:

A Chinese Restaurant Association official said that eating three bowls of this fake rice would be like eating one plastic bag.

The obvious motivation behind this scheme would be money, since the synthetic “rice” is cheaper to produce. This is just another, albeit somewhat more disquieting, in the long line of tainted or defective products apparently coming out of China. These would include the poisonous drywall, and tainted milk.

If true, this a cruel, calculated maneuver worthy of Orson Well’s character Harry Lime from The Third Man. It’s hard not to think of his famous speech atop the ferris wheel, gesturing at the people below:

Would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? If I offered you twenty thousand pounds for every dot that stopped, would you really, old man, tell me to keep my money, or would you calculate how many dots you could afford to spare?

(via Very Vietnam, image via Wikipedia)

No

Epic Supercut of Epic NOOOOOOOOOs [Video]

by Jamie Frevele | 5:28 pm, February 5th

The weekend is half over! NOOOOOOO!

You hate football and it’s Super Bowl weekend! NOOOOOO!

It’s going to snow AGAIN! NOOOOOOO!

There’s beer in the fridge! N — oh, good.

(The High Definite)

No

Gah, Facebook Game Mafia Wars to Become Feature Film

by Michael Suen | 6:04 pm, June 28th

If you’re one of those Facebook users with parents or weird cousins that inundate your wall with Mafia Wars invitations, start whimpering, because the end is nigh: The gangster game, developed by Zynga, will adapted into a full-fledged movie. American media mogul Ted Field and Radar Pictures, known for such precious treasures as Swing Vote and The Invention of Lying, will be in charge of bringing it to cinematic life.

Read on...
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