If you were planning on popping the big question in less than a week on Valentine’s Day, Pizza Hut hopes you’ll turn to them after your significant other says yes for the fanciest engagement party Pizza Hut can provide. For just $10,010, the package comes with all the accoutrements of an engagement party, including a ruby engagement ring, plus you can look back in fifty years and tell your children about the time Pizza Hut threw you an engagement party.

There is a  Star Wars-branded thing called ”Galactic Dance Off” and it’s coming to a Kinect near you, that is, if you can’t manage to run away fast enough. Before you get too excited upset excited, this isn’t a standalone property. No, it’s a mode available in the upcoming Kinect Star Wars, a detail that seems to speak volumes about the game’s actual content. But it gets even better.

If you’re tired of your plain black mousepad that has a little splotch of coffee on it that never cleans off, even when you scratch at it with a penny, and want something new, fancy, and that makes you feel like a computer sultan, you can get a MouseRug, which is a fancy carpet to replace your boring mousepad. There are  load of different designs, from Persian to Oriental to African, and they all sell on the product page for $19.95. Check out a few choice MouseRugs after the break.

If you like to keep your music-listening experience a little vintage but don’t have enough milk crates — or square footage — to keep your collection entirely in vinyl, the iPhonograph might be able to help you out. Boasting the style of a classic phonograph (or gramaphone, or graphophone, or zonophone, or whatever) and the ability to use your iPad or iPhone, the iPhonograph is perfect for those of you who pretend to want to live in the past, but really couldn’t part with your precious iDevices.

People do a lot of important things on the Internet. Maybe you use it make purchases, and pay bills. Maybe you use it to plot the destruction and overthrow of the government. Either way, you probably aren’t too keen on being spied on. Unfortunately for you, the F-BOMB (Falling or Ballistically-launched Object that Makes Backdoors) makes it easy. Also, it has the sort of pained-acronym name that I can really get behind.

YouTuber no9sniper took it upon himself to bring Bethesda’s open world epic, Skyrim, to the platform that needed it most: The TI-84 calculator. His conversion isn’t like all of those DOOM ports you see running on graphing calculators — this one is more like an old BBS door game or Kingdom of Loathing, where the player simply picks options from menus to play, rather than controls anything in real time. Door games are secretly still fun, and Kingdom of Loathing is going strong, so there might be a place for no9sniper’s calculator Skyrim — probably in math class. Head on past the break to check out a video of calculator Skyrim in action.

In 20 seasons of The Simpsons –that’s about 9,207 minutes (441 episodes at about 22 minutes of non-commercial footage) or 153.45 hours, or 6.39 weeks– Homer spends about 4 minutes and 24 seconds just saying “D’oh.” How do I know this? Because I have basic math skills and Andrewjcm painstakingly created a supercut of every instance of D’oh! in the Simpsons from seasons 1-20. It’s an impressive feat and a worthwhile watch, but now I just want someone to rearrange some of these D’ohs and maybe autotune them into a song. New musicalgenre? I hope so. It beats dubstep, right? Right?!

You know the necessities of life, right? The simple bear bare necessities? Food, water, shelter, Dragonborn mandolin, and that’s it, if I recall correctly. TTguitars on Etsy can help you with that last one if you haven’t taken care of it yet. As pictured above, a Dragonborn mandolin is available and made to order for a mere $695. If that’s not your style and you’d prefer the stereotypical choice of an electric guitar or the more awesome choice of an electric bass, those options are available as well.

Researchers from the University of Queensland have found the first ever hybrid sharks hanging around off the coast of Australia and from what they can tell, the hybrids are robust and more apt to handle changing climates than either of their parent species. Researches found not one or two, but 57 of the hybrids, along a 2,000 km stretch of coastline that included areas too cold for some non-hybrid sharks to live. While there could be any number of reasons behind this hybridization, it’s thought that it could be an adaption to climate change.

For those people who always press the soda flavor indicators on the plastic cup tops, for only $20.12, you now have a calendar that allows you to smoosh one thing a day, and also keep track of what day it is. This bubble wrap calendar will satisfy many a crazy person’s urge — mine included — because now they can be constructive in their smooshing. The calendar measures 48 inches by 17.5 inches, and features “heavier bubbles” in order to provide a louder pop. Check out the full calendar after the break, and head on over to the order page to give it a buy.