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Uncategorized Monday, October 1st 2012 at 8:40 am

U.S. Official in Charge of Cybersecurity Doesn’t Use Email, Must Forward Amusing Photos by Fax

How do you ensure that your computer is completely and totally secure? There’s really only one surefire method: Don’t use a computer. If you don’t use a computer, then there’s nothing to get off it. The plan is pure genius. It’s also the same plan that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano employs with email. She claims that she doesn’t use email at all because of how secure she is. This is clearly the answer to all our problems.

It’s the same rationale behind not using fire because it might burn you, or not playing the latest Metroid game because it will only lead to disappointment. Okay, more like the former and less like the latter; if you play Metroid: Other M, the only outcome is clearly disappointment. The point is that avoiding something entirely to ensure its security, especially something so ubiquitous like email, is asinine. Flying in planes isn’t completely safe, yet we do that all the time. The same goes for driving.

Here’s the response CNN quotes Napolitano as giving about why she doesn’t use email:

For a whole host of reasons. So, I don’t have any of my own accounts and that, you know, I’m very secure[.]

Some would call me a Luddite but you know. But that’s my own personal choice and I’m very unique in that regard I suspect[.]

That doesn’t mean she doesn’t have someone with email performing various functions for her, as evidenced by the “any of my own accounts” blurb. It’s either comforting or concerning that the person in charge of cybersecurity doesn’t use email, but that depends on whether you understand that Internet doohickey your grandchildren are always talking about.

(CNN via reddit, image via Jeff the Trojan)

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  • volcrush

    i use carrier pigeons so i don’t have to be concerned about my phone being tapped

  • Rollin Bishop

    I’ve found carrier pigeons can be “tapped” by being caught. I’ve moved to only speaking in person using a code I made up and didn’t write down anywhere.

  • Anonymous

    With the past 10 years I was dealing with people in the NSA (National Security Agency / “No Such Agency”) who wanted to share information on the web site I managed… but they needed to share it without actually going to our web site — because people were not allowed to access any outside web sites. They had me burn the web site to a CD (with linked altered so everything would work internally, plus all external links going to an “I’m sorry…” page) and then they were going to copy it to the NSA intranet, which would be accessible. That was real head-scratcher for me, as I was wondering if they went around asking people to burn the Internet to CD.

  • http://www.facebook.com/grey580 Alberto Solano

    Actually. This is absolutely genious!
    However it has nothing to do with security.
    But everything to do with job security!

    If she screws up. That’s one less piece of incriminating evidence against you.

  • MOTTOfied

    Yea see in a job like that.. It’s called CYA.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jeremy.gibbs.712 Jeremy Gibbs

    Asinine!… or a completely rational reaction to a incomprehensibly huge problem the general public continues to ignore. The thing about the NSA’s chief of cyber security is she probably does know a thing or two about that little internet thing your kids are talking about even if you do not! Those of us who do understand the internet, and more importantly the emergence of social hackers, know that today your email is the easiest portal into your digital life. Your email is usually the default way of resetting your passwords for everything from internal business servers to your atm pin and with acces to your email and a couple of hours a computer savvy individual can empty the internet of every piece of data you’ve ever input. As Mrs Napolitano’s position requires her to be personally privy to sensitive information she would be a target (much like the apple employee recently taken advantage of in order to gain internal customer info) and has made an intelligent decision to take herself out of the equation. So to recap not so much like not uusing fire for fear of being burned and more like a firefighter wearing gloves…

    But thank you Rollin Bishop for your poorly researched needlessly opinionated piece of contrived bias

  • http://twitter.com/SeanP Sean Panzera

    See, I’ve skipped a step and trained the pigeons to speak in code.

  • Idlethoughts

    I’ve taken it to its logical conclusion and now only speak to myself.

  • Idlethoughts

    More like the head of the automotive safety department never driving because he or she deemed it too dangerous. The point I’m trying to make is that if the person in charge of cyber security can’t have competent enough security that she feels comfortable using email, then perhaps this implies worrying things about the competence of the department.

  • Bob

    Sounds like a liberal with his panties in a bunch. Napolitano was a horrible governor and an even worse Department of Homeland Security Secretary.

  • Zagnuts

    Right.
    As you may remember, this is the same woman who greenlit a memo calling US military veterans “potential terrorists.” Wasn’t just veterans that were labeled (mostly people in direct opposition to her ideological/political views), but it was singling out the veterans that got the people’s “curls in an uproar.”
    I think she learned a lot from that episode. Enough to decide to keep herself off the digital paper trail.

  • Huh?

    No email? …bet’cha she doesn’t have an Twitter or Facebook account either… Does she search the web?

  • Mike Daugherty

    Enjoyed reading your thoughts!