geekosystem

Back in the day, before Google established its reign, there were a whole bunch of different search engines to choose from: Alta Vista, Ask Jeeves,Webcrawler, Lycos, Yahoo!, and of course, Dogpile. Dogpile in particular, seems to be suffering from lack of use these days. You can tell because it’s autocomplete suggestions have gone completely off the rails.

The bizzare results are probably the result of a small and less-than-tech-savvy userbase and people who come to Dogpile to ask things they’re too embarrassed to Google. That being the case, Dogpile’s autocomplete isn’t exactly helpful, but it is hilarious.

1. No. 1 | Am I

   

2. No. 2 | Can You

   

   I'm sure you can, but should you donate plasma while high on meth?

3. No. 3 | Does Anyone

   

   Does anyone know what this "Internet" thing is?

4. No. 4 | Does

   

5. No. 5 | G

   

   Looks like someone wants to be using a different search engine.

6. No. 6 | How Can

   

7. No. 7 | How Do

   

   How do you get on the first page of Google? You stop using Dogpile, for starters.

8. No. 8 | How You

   

   How you doin?

9. No. 9 | Is Dogpile

   

   Is Dogpile a good place to ask questions that I'm too embarrassed to Google? [Yes]

10. No. 10 | Is

    

    I really hope that top one isn't on top because a lot of people search for it...

11. No. 11 | Is Google

    

12. No. 12 | Is My

    

    If you're asking, then yes, your belly is probably fat enough to punch.

13. No. 13 | Popular Now

    

    When are Frankenstein Mummies not popular?

14. No. 14 | What If

    

    The real question is "Why would your husband be made to wear a dress?"

15. No. 15 | What Is

    

    What is way less useful than Google?

16. No. 16 | When Does

    

17. No. 17 | When Will

    

    Someone is really anxious about excedrin.

18. No. 18 | Where Can I

    

    I'm not sure there's anywhere you can get an auto tittle loan.

19. No. 19 | Where

    

    "I need that refund. NOW!"

20. No. 20 | Where Did

    

    Where did you got to school at that you're ending your sentences in prepositions, huh?!

21. No. 21 | Where Does

    

22. No. 22 | Who

    

    Aliens invented velco; haven't you ever seen Men in Black?

23. No. 23 | Can

    

    I can a new relationship, can you?

24. No. 24 | Why Does

    

Relevant to your interests

• France sued Google because its autocomplete keeps pairing names with “jewish”
• Japan got mad at Google autocomplete for painting people in a negative light
• This Italian guy one I libel suit against Google over autocomplete