Hugh Jackman is a jack-of-all-trades sort of actor, as comfortable playing the action hero in a modern special effects blockbuster as he is playing the lead in a period musical. The best thing about this (I mean, aside from good acting) is that he’s done a lot of period films. He’s also the live action face of one of the Marvel Universe‘s nearly indestructible probably immortal badasses: Wolverine.
This lead me inevitably to the conclusion that you could pretend that some of his period films were also about Wolverine. Secretly.
You couldn’t call it canonical, since movie Wolverine spends his entire post-X-factor life with his half-brother Sabertooth (until the 1970’s or so). But you could call it amusing.
Here’s the Netflix queue for your fanfiction adventure:
1999: Oklahoma!
Hugh Jackman played the male lead in Trevor Nunn‘s Oklahoma!: Curly McLain, a cowboy who woos a hardhearted farmer’s daughter. Although we don’t really see Wolverine as a morning person, the movie does contain a knife fight. We’re just sayin’. Just pretend that Jud “accidentally” stabbed himself three times. In a suspiciously regular pattern.
2004: Van Helsing
Ah, much closer. Wolverine and Van Helsing are both scruffy action hero/assassin type. The bonus with this reading of Van Helsing is that you get to watch Wolverine kill vampires. Maybe he could sheathe his claws in wood? Apropos of nothing, we would like to take a moment to remind all period action films that horses do not explode like that.
2006: The Prestige
If you haven’t seen The Prestige, then all you need to know is that Wolverine and Batman are rival 19th century stage magicians, and that their theatrical contraptions are built by Alfred Pennyworth and David Bowie (who is playing the role of Nikola Tesla), assisted by Gollum. Christopher Nolan directs.
2008: Australia
If Wolverine had wound up in the Australian outback in the 1930’s, it could have gone down like this. Jackman’s character is a low paid cattle driver known only as “Drover” who befriends the natives and spends a lot of time alone with and eventually romances Lady Sarah Ashley, the only hot lady in town. Replace “cattle driver” with “lumberjack” and “Lady Sarah Ashley” with “Silver Fox” and you’re halfway to Act 1 of Wolverine: Origins.
2010: Unbound Captives
To summarize Unbound Captives: Edward is kidnapped from his family and raised by Comanches from the age of four. After rescuing his mother, the Chick from The Mummy, Wolverine helps her search for her lost vampire son. Katara from The Last Airbender may also be involved.
2012: Snow Flower and the Secret Fan
Not much is known about Hugh Jackman’s involvement in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, a film set in 19th century China about two girls who struggle against rigid cultural norms. Some articles indicate he is set to play the “lead actor.” Others say a cameo. We’re just going to let our imaginations (and Wolverine) run wild in a lavishly costumed Oriental drama.
