Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize

BP Joe Barton Joe Barton Would Like to Apologize Tony Hayward

by Robert Quigley | 5:28 pm, June 17th, 2010

Earlier today, Republican Congressman Joe Barton apologized to BP CEO Tony Hayward for what he called a “$20 billion shakedown” on the government’s part with respect to BP in the wake of the oil disaster in the Gulf Coast; thereafter, Barton ‘apologized’ for his apology, saying his words had been subject to “misconstruction.”

Tech journalist and Internet provocateur Mathew Honan has put together a handy site in which you can read Barton’s ‘apologies’ to such misunderstood figures as King George III, the Confederacy, tobacco companies (“for the off-putting warning labels”), Kim Jong-Il, and (low blow?) AT&T.

http://joebartonwouldliketoapologize.com/

(Boing Boing via TDW)

marya136

Joe Barton apologizes for being so mean to the Germans during WW II.
krayrph

Joe Barton would like to apologize to the Taliban for damages to their opium crop.
bigbopper

Joe Barton apologizes to the funeral directors for the for the long hours they had to work after the misconstruction of the Deepwater.
bigee

Joe Barton apologizes to BP for the Texas beaches taking BP’s floating oil from their Gulf of Mexico waters. He forgot to apologize to all Americans for taking BIG OIL money. How crazy is he?

The Unintentional Hilarity of Twitter Spam Bots

Back Alley Internet is a recurring column in which we explore some of the weirder corners of the Internet and see what we can drudge up for your amusement and education. This week: We study the legions of Twitter bots that trawl the trending topics and spit out some unintentionally hilarious tweets.

Tweetosystem

Eric Limer I need trephination like I need a hole in the head.
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Max AIM CHAT: I like you, too. *belushis*
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Eric Limer Listening to Call Me Maybe and cropping screengrabs of Twitter bots. It's times like this that I really love my job.
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James Plafke Popular rapper Ladies Love Removed Eyes.
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Eric Limer I am genuinely enjoying using So.cl to make weird picture mash-ups. I just made a collage of becks. http://t.co/ulGbDbwn
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Eric Limer This Facebook IPO coverage needs to stop cuz I'm seriously sick of seeing Zuckerberg staring creepily at me from the top of every story.
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Max Put on your poodle skirts and choose your favorite syrup because we're gonna have a sock-hop at the iHop.
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James Plafke I just threatened my mom to email me something by telling her I'd discuss with her all the lady celebrities I'd have sex with.
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Max New Hallmark Card: "I held an extended conversation with you without being able to remember your name" Inside: "I'm sorry."
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Eric Limer To any of you bros who might like to ice me, I encourage you to act on that urge, bro.
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Eric Limer If anyone is looking for some totally garbled, nigh-incomprehensible ad copy, I'm your man.
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Eric Limer What? None of my Facebook friends are on So.cl? How can this be?!
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Eric Limer "Does this mustache look creepy? Experts are blind; can't tell."
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Rollin Bishop Lin Beifong is suddenly one of the best things about Legend of Korra.
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James Plafke I just taught someone what TIL means. There's some kind of poetry to that.
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Max Preparing some mails.
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James Plafke A porn spambot named "toothsex" just spammed me.
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Eric Limer Walking my sister through the finer points of PS2 emulation as something of a birthday gift.
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Max Whoever just had The Strand pull a copy Of the Prose Edda: We should be Viking nerd friends.
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Eric Limer "That Spacex launch last Saturday was an absolute abortion."
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