It’s a widely accepted scientific fact that kids these days just don’t fear the omnipotent judge of the righteous and damned, Santa Claus, like they once used to. Years ago, the prospect of having one’s gift withheld and given a lump of coal instead was enough to convince children to behave. Today, the little brats have the absurd notion that they’re entitled to being showered in free material goods. This year, things are going to be different. Cartoonist Mark Anderson has constructed the ultimate mobile weapon in bad behavior deterrence entirely out of LEGO: The LEGO Santa Claus Mech!
Remember, kids, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, and we’re telling you why: Santa Claus has a lock on your current position and is about to make it rain.
No. 1 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #1
Only the finest in elf engineering was capable of constructing a weapon of this magnitude.
No. 2 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #2
"Who wants some?!"
No. 3 | LEGOSanta Claus Mech #3
We're guessing that naughty children are gifted with a steady, blistering hot stream of fire. There must be a coal deficit in the North Pole this year.
No. 4 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #4
While nice children get a gift from what we assume is a toy blaster of some sort.
No. 5 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #5
From the control console, Santa can check the mech's fuel levels, which is a compound derived from cookies and milk.
No. 6 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #6
Wait, is that a doll in there?
No. 7 | LEGO Santa Claus Mech #7
No, just an unfortunate elf who didn't abide by the safety rules of the workshop. Hopefully he won't run out of oxygen before Santa's done making his rounds.
- Snoop Dog plays Moses, takes on Santa Claus in latest epic rap battle
- There is a mathematically correct way to decorate your Christmas tree
- Got $15,000? Buy this solid gold LEGO brick