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Science Wednesday, February 6th 2013 at 1:50 pm

Not How That Works! Man Tries to Impregnate Horse, Create Centaur in Worst Possible Way

29-year-old Texas man Andrew Mendoza was arrested for having sex with his neighbor’s horse after being stood up by his girlfriend. To make the story even worse, Mendoza told police he was trying to “make the horse have a baby,” because he thought it would have a “horse-man baby.” That, Mr. Mendoza, is not how you get a centaur.

Surprisingly, or not surprisingly depending on you feel about Texas, Mendoza’s mistake in the eyes of the law wasn’t that he violated a horse, but rather that he didn’t do it in private. Mendoza plead guilty to charges of public lewdness and criminal trespass. According to chapter 21, section seven of the Texas penal code, Public Lewdness is defined this way:

Sec. 21.07.  PUBLIC LEWDNESS. (a) A person commits an offense if he knowingly engages in any of the following acts in a public place or, if not in a public place, he is reckless about whether another is present who will be offended or alarmed by his:

(1)  act of sexual intercourse;

(2)  act of deviate sexual intercourse;

(3)  act of sexual contact; or

(4)  act involving contact between the person’s mouth or genitals and the anus or genitals of an animal or fowl.

(b)  An offense under this section is a Class A misdemeanor.

I’ll go on record as saying it should probably be a lot more illegal than it is to have sex with an animal in Texas, or anywhere for that matter. Mendoza was sentenced to four months is jail, and I think he really taught his girlfriend a lesson about the consequences of standing people up.

Say, Mr. Horse, what do you think about this story?

(via The Sun, image via kyllaris)

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  • Rebecca Pahle

    Loki?!

  • http://www.facebook.com/sornptar JBee Keller

    Yeah, us here Texans are awl reetards and stoopid. Yes sir, we is just dumb as awl gettout.

  • Crazy

    Any relation to Bush?

  • http://twitter.com/Lulzaroonie Lauren

    “What are you in for?” “Bank heist – you?” “I.. uh… I tried to create a mythical creature by fucking my neighbours horse…”

  • http://www.mygeekygeekyways.com Starman

    All this does is illustrate why our public schools need comprehensive sex-ed classes. Forget condoms and STD’s – I just want someone to explain to every 10 year old boy “You can’t get a horse pregnant.”

  • Arakiba

    Demonstrating yet again how poorly biology is taught in the Bible Belt.

  • http://geekosystem.com/ Glen Tickle

    Aw shucks, partner. That’s not what I’m saying at all. Just that this guy is stoopid, and that you can’t make horse man babies.

  • WiddleBabyWepublican

    Ride em Cowboy!

  • Anonymous

    In my opinion, 10 years is WAY TOO LATE TO BEGIN TO DISCUSS SEX. Our daughter knew all the body parts at age 3 but she was not allowed to discuss with friends, just in the home. Kids would knock on the door and ask: “Can April talk about anything and say anything in the house?” “Yes.” Any word. I heard her one day on the porch as a little friend told her: “My Mommy is having a baby and it is in her tummy.” Our daughter came in — totally IRATE — and said: “She knows nothing of the womb.” She grew up just fine.

  • Anonymous

    It’s still in question if Donald Trump’s mom was knocked up by an orangutang.