Michael Bay’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie keeps getting it’s release date pushed back, thank God — but what’s a turtle obsessed individual to do with themselves until the film comes out and crushes all their dreams? Sign up for Ninja Turtle training classes, of course. You know, like you do.
According to the Agoura Hills Recreation Center, the line-up of fall classes will include a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themed class for kids:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Training, will teach tots ages three to five super secret ninja moves, how to make tubular pizzas and create their very own ninja turtle gear. Class is held on Wednesday, 3:30-4:15 p.m. from September 11–October 2.
Unfortunately the classes are only available for fans aged from three to five, which is just ridiculous. Yes, there have been a spillion reboots of the franchise, but are these dumb toddlers really going to be able to appreciate the subtle art of turtle ninjutsu the way that an older person can? They’ve never actually been teen-aged! And do they even know who Krang is?
Seriously, though — I know plenty of adults who would pay good money for a fitness class themed after their favorite cartoon from when they were growing up. In fact I know of one in particular who would do anything for a Sailor Moon themed one, and who may have already clocked in a lot of hours throwing pretend-tiara frisbees at invisible Negaverse enemies as a child. Ahem.
- Thank more God that Bay’s seen the light regarding alien turtles
- That leaked script was pretty horrifying, after all
- Those darned kids wouldn’t appreciate this minimalist TMNT LEGO set