You’ve got all the games, for every system. You can draw the maps for Zelda dungeons from memory. You wore a Power Glove to your wedding. You’re a Nintendo nerd, or at least you think you are. I hate to pop your bubble, but unless you’ve got the numerous items in this Nintendo apparel ad from 1994, you’re nothing. The retailer even recommends that you purchase a “backup Nintendo T-shirt for those surprise attacks.” Apparently, you might barf yourself or pee your shirt or something. See the full ad, in its antiquated glory, after the break.