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Uncategorized Friday, December 30th 2011 at 6:01 pm

How About That: North Korea Has a FAQ

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With the recent death of Kim Jong-Il, many people ignorant of the internal workings of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea might have some questions. Perhaps you’re curious about how a DPRK citizen spends his or her time, or maybe you’re looking for commentary on slippery rumors about mass starvation and nuclear weapons. Well, worry no more friends: North Korea maintains a FAQ that should answer just about any question you might have. And it’s not full of bald-faced propaganda, of course not.

The website claims to be maintained by the Korean Friendship Association. Though based in Spain, the group functions as an official public face for North Korea to the rest of the world.

Here are some of the best entries in this mindblowing FAQ.

1. Can I get a signed photograph from Leader Kim Jong IL?

The KFA Shop is offering this article. Please visit the following webpage:

http://www.korea-dpr.com/catalog2

Because freedom means never being alone.

8. Can I travel to North Korea as a backpacker?

No. You must travel as a group only, even if you are the only participant you must be with Korean guides at all times.

I mean, that’s one way to recycle stuff.

11. I want to know why North Korea has nuclear weapons.

After the US failed to fulfill the terms in the Agreed Framework by supplying two light-water reactors to the DPRK as compensation for the discontinuing of Korean nuclear power, the DPRK withdrew in October 2002 from the NPT and thus restarted its own energy-producing program, and then started to recycle spent fuel-rods.

The DPRK has a nuclear deterrence as a life-insurance to protect the motherland. The US, who put the country inside the “Axis of Evil”, and is threatening with a nuclear holocaust pre-emptive strike has created this situation and made this neccessary. The situation is no less serious because the US side has nuclear weapons and other missiles stationed in South Korea.

Because freedom means one political party.

13. Is North Korea a dictatorship?

No, the DPRK is a single-united-party constitutional democracy guaranteeing freedom of speech and assembly to all citizens. DPRK citizens play an active role in their nation’s political life at the local, regional and national levels, through their trade unions or as members of one of the nation’s three political parties, which include the Workers’ Party of Korea, the Chondoist Chongu Party and the Korean Social Democratic Party.

That’s not a “no.”

17. I hear that North Koreans are very poor. Is this true?

By international standards, DPRK citizens enjoy a very high standard of living. In Socialist Korea, the state guarantees all citizens the right to quality healthcare, education, stipends for the disabled, retirement pensions and access to recreational facilities, as well as a wide array of other state-supported services. Indeed, DPRK citizens are guaranteed many provisions that are uncommon in many developed capitalist societies, which are home to real poverty. Unlike in many countries of the capitalist world, the DPRK is a state free of homelessness, unemployment, prostitution and starvation.

Today, in “evasive, cryptic answers:”

24. Is it true that all citizens of the DPRK work for the government?

Government and people are one. There is no distinction of them.

And finally, straight answers for hard-hitting questions.

23. What activites does the average person do in a week for fun?

Hiking, Bowling, Reading, listen to music etc – it differs from person to person.

You can read the full list here, and have your mind still further blown when you discover that North Korea has an official blog. Didn’t see an answer for your question about the DPRK? Well, that’s okay, there’s a system for that.

This is the official FAQ for questions about North Korea. If your question is not on the list you can

security@korea-dpr.com <– send us your question.

Now that is one intimidating email address.

(via @paleofuture)

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  • Dasvoid

    Funny article, but poorly laid out. The responses to the FAQ should come after the FAQ entries, not before.

  • FireFox

    North Korean citizens are suffering at an unbelievable rate, and their government is posting bullcrap like this about their citizens “easy life”. They’re trying to brainwash the world, just like they are brainwashing their own citizens. It makes me so angry.

  • Aywolfpac

    Exactly.  I’m glad to live in the U.S. where our government would never try to brainwash its citizens.

  • http://twitter.com/lugatech Guillermo Elía

    Blah blah blah, now, how about that compaq!? I had one of those, back in 2000, ran windows 98se, the only good thing were the speakers…

    Now what were we babbling about? ahh DPRK, well, the people ultimately have the responsibility to change how they live, so, in any case, it’s their fault for allowing the government to manipulate them like this.

    For instance, what would happen if a bunch of koreans form a new political party? They probably have the right since it’s a democracy after all, or that D in DPRK is just bullshit?

  • rizzle

    bwahahahahhaha you have been brainwashed all the time friend, wait a bit and and see – theyll take your internetz, spy on you wit dronez and shitz, your rightz are already in garbage and after that you can say goodbye to your right to travel freely just wait and see…

  • http://jason-burnett.blogspot.com/ Jason Burnett

    And, in further proof that North Korea is a first class country, the souvenir shop on their blog is a Cafepress shop.

  • Richard Gerst

    “The Goliath of totalitarianism will be brought down by the David of the microchip.” Who would’ve thought they’d bring it upon themselves.

  • Hadi From IRAN

    Viva North Korea
    Viva Kim jong un