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Uncategorized Friday, November 30th 2012 at 4:10 pm

North Korea Finds Ancient Unicorn Lair, Because Sure, Why Not

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Continuing their proud nation’s great tradition of being simultaneously wackier and sadder than all other nations, North Korean archaeologists have announced the discovery of what they claim is the lair of a unicorn. What, you may ask, could lead them to believe they had stumbled on such an incredible find? According to the country’s state run news service “A rectangular rock carved with words “Unicorn Lair” stands in front of the lair.” I think you’ll agree — pretty hard to argue with evidence like that.

The surprisingly clearly marked lair, just a few hundred feet from a Pyongyang temple that was reportedly a backup palace for King Tongmyong, was apparently discovered by researchers from History Institute of the DPRK Academy of Social Sciences. Or, you know, not discovered. Probably that second one.

We’re trying like, super-hard to believe this right now, though, so in the interest of suspending a little disbelief, we want details. For example, what sort of security measures are being taken to protect the site from an attack by a unicorn-blood starved Lord Voldemort?

Presumably they’re hoping this story will get some traction in China, which will apparently report any old unbelievable crap involving North Korea. You’re just trolling now, Democratic People’s Republic of Korea…and it’s kind of great. Honestly, we would love your for how delightfully crazy you are if not for all the, you know, generations upon generations of unspeakable human rights abuses. It’s not a good look on you.

(via The Telegraph, Korea News Service)

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  • herke anderson

    north korea done gone nuts!

  • Amber Goss

    Well, ifor accuracy’s sake I have to say that “generations upon generations” is a misleading statement since the country has been in existence for less than 70 years. just sayin’

  • cvegas

    “we would love your for how delightfully crazy you are if not for all the”… your for…

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Randy-Loyd/100000173773204 Randy Loyd

    those wacky old North Koreans

  • kim

    aw it must be fun to be that ignorantly dumb, like being a little child…

  • Idlethoughts

    Perhaps they are just trolling in hopes of actually getting fed.

  • Killian Macnish

    A generation lasts 20 years. That’s about 3 generations.

  • Amber Goss

    Hyperbole to state “generations upon generations”. Generations would have been sufficent, and accurate :D

  • Anonymous

    “An apparent North Korean claim to have uncovered a ‘unicorn’s lair’ that created an Internet storm was partly the result of mistranslation by Pyongyang’s much-mocked propaganda machine…But the original Korean text of the report suggests the archaeologists were trumpeting the discovery of a site associated with the Tongmyong legend — not proving its factual base in history.” –AFP

    Actually, in fairness to the wacky North Koreans, it’s the Americans who paid to see a live unicorn a few decades ago at the Ringling Bros and Barnum & Bailey Circus.

    Disappointing as I would have liked to hear the breathless cautions from the government about the impending invasion of their unicorn army. Seriously, those horns are sharp.

  • Allison

    Guys, come on. Proof-reading is important even in articles about unicorns. Especially in articles about unicorns–don’t tarnish the magic of the unicorn with your typos.

  • Marc

    a ‘special’ child that cannot distinguish between fact and unbelievable crap!!