geekosystem

I have done some research into online dating and have been highly impressed by what can be acheived. For the guy that is perhaps a little bit shy in the real world can simply join and then either search or better still be found.

Many times in the past, I have gotten a standard match wink, often from a young beautiful woman. My Match wink notification tells me what a lucky guy I am, out of thousands of possibilities she chose me. And looking at me is the photo of this extraordinarily beautiful woman, with an enticing come-hither little smile, long dark hair, and exotic eyes. I rush to see her profile, it is short, but says all the right things, “I am a very sensual person — love touch ….and spending hours making love to my lover’s body”… Ooh boy, hours spent laying next to each other, (on the beach, in the bed, under the kitchen table), with my finger gently tracing little pictures on her soft supple flesh (OK, so I’m a little weird), while caressing and slowly exploring every inch of my lover’s body. Gee, if I’m dreaming, please don’t wake me up.

Yet, this is not the perfect profile since she does not add “and mind” to the previous quote. If only she said something like: “First and foremost I want to find a partner who challenges me mentally — a man who understands truly that the mind is the body’s most erotic organ. Intimacy, wit, and the ability to converse openly on many, many subjects –is a must!. Finding a friend –who can eventually open his heart and soul and bare all that he is – with total trust that he will be accepted and loved for ALL that he is – is what I seek.”
Now that combined with “spending hours making love to my lover’s body” would be perfection.

However, let’s face it, perfection is really difficult to find. As I believe someone once said (and if they did not say it, they should have) “you have to kiss an awful lot of frogs, before you find the one who turns into the princess.” And she was one frog I would have absolutely no problem kissing. So maybe she addressed my most basic instincts, not my highest ones, but like all men I am an animal too. If I read that profile one more time, I may just go out and howl at the moon.

But I can’t put her profile down, she chose me. I am delighted, honored, and fascinated by this wonderful woman with such good taste. As I read her profile once more, my heart begins to pound and images form in my mind. The two of us running down the beach hand in hand, into a sunset as a legendary green flash occurs (on the islands, the green flash legend says you will be together forever). Picnicking on a beautiful sunny day, next to a raging river in the mountains; and as we watch the dance of the butterflies amongst the flowers, we alternately feed grapes and kisses to each other. In the still of the night, our hot naked bodies glistening with sweat, rolling on red satin sheets doing … never mind, you get the picture. Oh thank you Match.com, I have found the ONE. HOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWLL !!!

I rush to my computer and type out a heart felt, letter just for her. I use her profile to figure out what she might be interested in talking about, and spend a day or two constructing the letter. It has to be perfect and connect with her. Thinking I have achieved this, I subscribe to the service (paying my money so I can use their Email), and head back to her profile in order to Email my missive to her. I click on the Email her link, and I get: “We’re sorry, the profile you’re looking for could not be found. Please try another profile.” A telephone-like message to break my heart, and shatter my dreams.

Tears roll down my cheeks, as I look at the carnage of my shattered dreams, and feel the pain of my tired and cramped fingers. Maybe she was one of the many women traveling and doing business in Nigeria (sneaking her uncle’s millions out of the country), and had to hide her identity. Or perhaps, it took me too long to get back to her; she found her love and hid her profile. I will never know which it is, and forever I will be haunted by this, “Why?” The woman of my dreams, the woman who chose me out of thousands of possibilities, gone. My heart is broken, will it ever be repaired?

Then the next day I open my Emails, and there, miracle of miracles, is a wink from another beautiful hot and sexy woman, who chose me out of thousands of possibilities. Gee whiz… I never realized I was such a Don Juan. And so, the cycle begins once again. After about half a dozen repetitions, I don’t delay in order to write a personalized reply to her wink. I have generalized my last Email response to a winker, and will send it out within minutes of receiving any new winks. This one will not get away!! But, Lo and Behold, I get the same message: “We’re sorry, the profile you’re looking for could not be found. Please try another profile.” How can this be, she winked at me five minutes ago!!!

I contact ‘customer service,” to ask nicely what is happening. I use their contact form which said they will get back to me within 24 to 48 hours. Five days latter no reply of any type. I try once again, and still no response. I wait two weeks and send a third request asking what happened, after all, they say three times is the charm. I could have been talking to myself because I never got an answer. But should I have expected one: “Dear Sir, the ladies who winked at you were generated by the computer in our marketing department. They never existed as flesh and blood in real life. We hope you had a nice fantasy. We appreciate your contribution to the growth of our four billion dollar industry.”

Like the slowly rising sun, it dawned on me, Match.com is the Nigerian Uncle and the money has been successfully snuck out of my pocket. All those beautiful hot, sexy women who winked at me, out of the thousands of possibilities, never existed. Don Juan has nothing to worry about, he will not be replaced by Don Charlie.

On top of all that, when I signed up I was told I had a guarantee for love. They said they would extend my subscription at no cost if I did not find love within six months. They did not honor that guarantee either. Yet, they still write to me, filling my eMail in-box to the brim. They keep telling me what a lucky guy I am, that of all the possibilities she had, this beautiful young woman chose to wink at me, now just subscribe and I will find the happiness of love, guaranteed. An so it goes, an endless stream of photos of beautiful woman who do not exist, pulling off the scab of my first fantasy love, long lost, throwing me into a state of deep depression as I contemplate and clean up the clutter in my eMail in-box. Such is the joy of computerized marketing.

Thanks Match, I am still alone, my Ego is demolished, and I feel like a fool. I was another unknowing victim of the oldest marketing trick in the book. Entice a Donkey (you know the other name used for him) with a carrot which he can never reach, and he will go wherever you want. It succeeded, they have my money, and I have sore fingers, a broken heart, and a bruised ego.

I will never again use a pay type dating site such as Match.com. The free sites may be smaller, since they don’t advertise, but at least the people are real. And so it goes.

Yeap.  Why join a dating site, when you never want to meet anyone?