Old Man Logan is but an upstart pup compared to most of the characters on this list. His healing factor and adamantine skeleton rendering him almost immortal, the Canada native has been alive and kicking ass since the 1880s, spending most of his life as a mercenary, 'cause that's exactly what you would do if you could not die. You too would smoke cigars if you couldn't get cancer and had an overactive sense of smell, believe me. Due to the fact that he has been subject to a number of mind wipes and mental blocks, he can barely remember most of his past, or the possible dubious musical theater productions he's been a part of.
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Yahoo! Launches New Browser-Within-a-Browser Called Axis
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WikiLeaks Launching Its Own Encrypted Social Network That Actually Sounds Kind Of Neat
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Second Time's the Charm: SpaceX Launches to International Space Station
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Here's How to Get to Diablo III's Brightly Colored Secret Level "Whimsyshire"
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46% Americans Think Facebook Is A Fad, Here Are Some Other Things Americans Think
The Unintentional Hilarity of Twitter Spam Bots
Back Alley Internet is a recurring column in which we explore some of the weirder corners of the Internet and see what we can drudge up for your amusement and education. This week: We study the legions of Twitter bots that trawl the trending topics and spit out some unintentionally hilarious tweets.
Tweetosystem
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Eric Limer
You have to tew two tutus?! I have to tew two tutus too!
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Max
The Pizza and Pasta Foundation supports the federal SAUCE act. Ask your congressman to put some SAUCE on it!
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Eric Limer
I like how if you make a mistake typing a popular URL, invariably the site you find is all "YOU'RE WINNER!" It's uplifting for a second.
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Max
Spam for work involves a false teeth supplier and someone looking to buy magnetic plates.
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Eric Limer
So that improv show was definitely a good idea. Ben Schwartz, Zach Woods, Justin Long, AND Adam Scott. #EverythingWentBetterThanExpected
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Max
Got a lot crossed off my to-do list tonight, and I'm starting to feel significantly less freaked about about, well, life.
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Eric Limer
I need trephination like I need a hole in the head.
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Max
AIM CHAT: I like you, too. *belushis*
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Eric Limer
Listening to Call Me Maybe and cropping screengrabs of Twitter bots. It's times like this that I really love my job.
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James Plafke
Popular rapper Ladies Love Removed Eyes.
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Eric Limer
I am genuinely enjoying using So.cl to make weird picture mash-ups. I just made a collage of becks. http://t.co/ulGbDbwn
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Eric Limer
This Facebook IPO coverage needs to stop cuz I'm seriously sick of seeing Zuckerberg staring creepily at me from the top of every story.
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Max
Put on your poodle skirts and choose your favorite syrup because we're gonna have a sock-hop at the iHop.
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James Plafke
I just threatened my mom to email me something by telling her I'd discuss with her all the lady celebrities I'd have sex with.
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Max
New Hallmark Card: "I held an extended conversation with you without being able to remember your name" Inside: "I'm sorry."
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Eric Limer
To any of you bros who might like to ice me, I encourage you to act on that urge, bro.
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Eric Limer
If anyone is looking for some totally garbled, nigh-incomprehensible ad copy, I'm your man.
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Eric Limer
What? None of my Facebook friends are on So.cl? How can this be?!
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Eric Limer
"Does this mustache look creepy? Experts are blind; can't tell."
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Rollin Bishop
Lin Beifong is suddenly one of the best things about Legend of Korra.
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