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10 Sexiest Programmers
What's This?
We know you: you’re yearning, aching for something, and you don’t quite know what. Well, we think that we have just the thing to soothe your urges: a Power Grid featuring the 10 sexiest programmers ever to do some hard, hard coding.
What’s the true language of love: Yukihiro Matsumoto’s Ruby, or Guido van Rossum’s Python, or Larry Wall’s Perl? Can open standards and cross-platform portability spice up a relationship? And who’s got the largest stack variables?
Tammy bit her lower lip and pouted at the ground. "I sure am sorry, Mr. Matsumoto. You sure have done an awfully good job of creating a major open-source programming language whose engaging and... Read on...
"I've heard about you. I heard you have a way of making women... vulnerable ," Cassandra said, trusting her voice's even tenor to distract from the flushing of her cheeks. "And they say that... Read on...
Linus Torvalds will be glad to give you his sweet, sweet kernel of Linux code, which should satisfy any open-minded, open-sourced urge your typing little fingers can muster. If you want to be... Read on...
Guido van Rossum would never use his name and fame as the inventor of the Python programming language to steal your love. No matter how ravishing she is. Just... what is her name? Wait. Don't tell... Read on...
#1
Larry Wall
Doris gazed in quivering anticipation at her would-be rescuer, whose tan skin, pulled taut over rippling muscles, shone in the sun, dripping with Perls of sweat. He turned to her, and she nearly... Read on...
BACKThe Unintentional Hilarity of Twitter Spam Bots
Back Alley Internet is a recurring column in which we explore some of the weirder corners of the Internet and see what we can drudge up for your amusement and education. This week: We study the legions of Twitter bots that trawl the trending topics and spit out some unintentionally hilarious tweets.
Tweetosystem
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Eric Limer
You have to tew two tutus?! I have to tew two tutus too!
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Max
The Pizza and Pasta Foundation supports the federal SAUCE act. Ask your congressman to put some SAUCE on it!
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Eric Limer
I like how if you make a mistake typing a popular URL, invariably the site you find is all "YOU'RE WINNER!" It's uplifting for a second.
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Max
Spam for work involves a false teeth supplier and someone looking to buy magnetic plates.
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Eric Limer
So that improv show was definitely a good idea. Ben Schwartz, Zach Woods, Justin Long, AND Adam Scott. #EverythingWentBetterThanExpected
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Max
Got a lot crossed off my to-do list tonight, and I'm starting to feel significantly less freaked about about, well, life.
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Eric Limer
I need trephination like I need a hole in the head.
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Max
AIM CHAT: I like you, too. *belushis*
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Eric Limer
Listening to Call Me Maybe and cropping screengrabs of Twitter bots. It's times like this that I really love my job.
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James Plafke
Popular rapper Ladies Love Removed Eyes.
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Eric Limer
I am genuinely enjoying using So.cl to make weird picture mash-ups. I just made a collage of becks. http://t.co/ulGbDbwn
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Eric Limer
This Facebook IPO coverage needs to stop cuz I'm seriously sick of seeing Zuckerberg staring creepily at me from the top of every story.
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Max
Put on your poodle skirts and choose your favorite syrup because we're gonna have a sock-hop at the iHop.
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James Plafke
I just threatened my mom to email me something by telling her I'd discuss with her all the lady celebrities I'd have sex with.
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Max
New Hallmark Card: "I held an extended conversation with you without being able to remember your name" Inside: "I'm sorry."
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Eric Limer
To any of you bros who might like to ice me, I encourage you to act on that urge, bro.
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Eric Limer
If anyone is looking for some totally garbled, nigh-incomprehensible ad copy, I'm your man.
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Eric Limer
What? None of my Facebook friends are on So.cl? How can this be?!
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Eric Limer
"Does this mustache look creepy? Experts are blind; can't tell."
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Rollin Bishop
Lin Beifong is suddenly one of the best things about Legend of Korra.
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