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10 Worthless Wizards
What's This?
This week we showcase worthless wizards, crappy conjurors, inept incanters, mundane mages, awful occultists, and sorcerers of suck.
Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for you never know when one of them just might be a complete dud.
#10
Argus Filch
Argus Filch is the almost demonically evil caretaker of the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, with a taste for sadistically punitive punishments and an ordinary cat familiar who is just... Read on...
#9
Orko
Orko , one of the few people who know He-Man is actually Prince Adam, comes from a world named Trolla in an alternate dimension, where all Trollans have some sort of magical powers. One of... Read on...
The animated musical film Fantasia showcases a segment entitled " The Sorcerer's Apprentice ," featuring the ever-popular Mickey Mouse as the titular apprentice. Not lacking in power, but more... Read on...
Radagast , we're not asking for much. We know that it's hard to live up to your peers when they're guys like Saruman and Gandalf, for Eru's sake. But could you have done something ? Anything?... Read on...
About half-way through Wrath of the Lich King the Argent Crusade figured it was about time to buckle down and start working on killing Arthas, and so they held a tournament to determine who among... Read on...
The Unintentional Hilarity of Twitter Spam Bots
Back Alley Internet is a recurring column in which we explore some of the weirder corners of the Internet and see what we can drudge up for your amusement and education. This week: We study the legions of Twitter bots that trawl the trending topics and spit out some unintentionally hilarious tweets.
Tweetosystem
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Eric Limer
You have to tew two tutus?! I have to tew two tutus too!
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Max
The Pizza and Pasta Foundation supports the federal SAUCE act. Ask your congressman to put some SAUCE on it!
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Eric Limer
I like how if you make a mistake typing a popular URL, invariably the site you find is all "YOU'RE WINNER!" It's uplifting for a second.
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Max
Spam for work involves a false teeth supplier and someone looking to buy magnetic plates.
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Eric Limer
So that improv show was definitely a good idea. Ben Schwartz, Zach Woods, Justin Long, AND Adam Scott. #EverythingWentBetterThanExpected
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Max
Got a lot crossed off my to-do list tonight, and I'm starting to feel significantly less freaked about about, well, life.
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Eric Limer
I need trephination like I need a hole in the head.
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Max
AIM CHAT: I like you, too. *belushis*
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Eric Limer
Listening to Call Me Maybe and cropping screengrabs of Twitter bots. It's times like this that I really love my job.
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James Plafke
Popular rapper Ladies Love Removed Eyes.
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Eric Limer
I am genuinely enjoying using So.cl to make weird picture mash-ups. I just made a collage of becks. http://t.co/ulGbDbwn
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Eric Limer
This Facebook IPO coverage needs to stop cuz I'm seriously sick of seeing Zuckerberg staring creepily at me from the top of every story.
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Max
Put on your poodle skirts and choose your favorite syrup because we're gonna have a sock-hop at the iHop.
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James Plafke
I just threatened my mom to email me something by telling her I'd discuss with her all the lady celebrities I'd have sex with.
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Max
New Hallmark Card: "I held an extended conversation with you without being able to remember your name" Inside: "I'm sorry."
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Eric Limer
To any of you bros who might like to ice me, I encourage you to act on that urge, bro.
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Eric Limer
If anyone is looking for some totally garbled, nigh-incomprehensible ad copy, I'm your man.
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Eric Limer
What? None of my Facebook friends are on So.cl? How can this be?!
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Eric Limer
"Does this mustache look creepy? Experts are blind; can't tell."
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Rollin Bishop
Lin Beifong is suddenly one of the best things about Legend of Korra.
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