How Much is Your Soul Worth? Find Out With Facebook and Get Offers to Sell It

There are countless stories in which characters sell their souls in exchange for something, but like any commodity, you have to know the value of what you’re trading. Why sell your soul for a new car when it’s worth as much as a new jet? Wouldn’t it be embarrassing to try to sell your soul for the power of flight, only to find out it’s worth no more than a few frequent-flyer miles? Now thanks to Soul Compare, a website that uses your Facebook profile to measure your soul in “gigaMorgans,” you can find out exactly how much your soul is worth, and get offers to trade it.

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Soul Compare is the latest weird Internet thing by weird-Internet-thing-maker Tom Scott, the guy who made the Star Wars Weather Forecast. It’s the kind of thing Scott does really, really well. He called Soul Compare “a new startup that’ll disrupt the old and slow soul-selling industry.” Because, sure, we all want to sell our souls, but who has the time? Soul Compare streamlines the process and updates it for life in these modern times.

I was a little disappointed to find out my soul is only worth 26.8 gigaMorgans until I learned that one Morgan is the value of Piers Morgan’s soul, so by comparison, I’m doing very well for myself in terms of soul value. Maybe Morgan’s soul value plummeted after he sold it to get his show on CNN.

Soul Compare works off the Facebook Graph API and looks at how you use Facebook to determine your soul’s worth. Seems like that’s as good a metric as any to measure a soul. One thing Soul Compare looks at is how people have used Facebook’s “Like” feature. Scott had the idea for the site when he was offered a one dollar discount on something he was buying online in exchange for a Facebook “Like.”

I lost 18 gigaMorgans based on my past “Like” practices, and rightfully so. I’ve liked a number of companies in exchange for offers, because my love can be bought.

When you let Soul Compare scope out your Facebook profile it returns some funny offers for trades. One of the offers I got was from the Norse god Thor himself. In exchange for your soul you get strength and courage, and the only downside seems to be that when you die you have to hang out in Valhalla drinking beer with Thor. That seemed awesome, so I clicked accept and got the following message:

So far, Thor has not made any attempts to contact me, though it is really windy out right now. Is wind a thing Thor controls? So far though, I sold my soul and all I got was this lousy message.

You can try Soul Compare yourself to see how your soul shapes up and what kind of offers you get. With my hunger increasing, I’m wondering if I should have gone with the $2 Burger King coupon instead.

(Soul Compare via The Next Web)

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Author
Glen Tickle
Glen is a comedian, writer, husband, and father. He won his third-grade science fair and is a former preschool science teacher, which is a real job.