Hey, J.J. Abrams, can we sit and talk for a quick minute? Okay, look, we’re not saying that we aren’t brimming with excitement for the release of Star Trek Into Darkness — we totally are. It’s just that — and we say this not as a slight against your writing or directing talents or anything — you don’t have a grasp of what separates a teaser from a trailer. The teaser? Perfection. The trailer, well, you just added another minute and did nothing to up the ante or give us an inkling of what the story is about. Are the tribbles at the center of all this? It’s the tribbles, isn’t it, J.J.?
In addition to the same scenes of the characters running through what looks like a forest pulled straight out of a Dr. Seuss story and ships crashing, we now have new footage of the winding, pristine hallways of the Enterprise and an empty command bridge, as well as the familiar “hand-through-the-glass” footage that stirred up some controversy when it appeared in the Japanese version of the teaser trailer. As if that wasn’t enough to whet our appetites, there’s even a convenient dramatic montage of the ship’s entire crew. You know, just in case you forgot who everyone was from the first film. Even with repetitive ambiguity such as this, color us intrigued, Mr. Abrams. No, we’re not kidding over here — we don’t think we can hold out until May.
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