Stock photography is a weird and terrifying medium. StockFinds, a parody Twitter account, knows the horrors of this world intimately and wants to share them with all of us by tweeting out the weirdest pictures out there, along with what we think might be their descriptions on stock websites. Hooray?
Here’s a few of our favorites so far:
businessman licking top of coffee cup pic.twitter.com/LKcnP8SDKR
— StockFinds (@stockfinds) December 12, 2013
Okay, we have questions. It’s not so much the act of licking the top of a coffee mug that gets us, really, because sometimes the coffee spills out and pools on the lid and you have to . We get that. But how the heck long is this guy’s tongue, exactly? Shudder.
doctor obstetrician receives childbirth pic.twitter.com/XWhqyi1g5o
— StockFinds (@stockfinds) December 10, 2013
“Childbirth” is sort of burying the lead there.
Businessman predator pic.twitter.com/lcsu1POd52
— StockFinds (@stockfinds) December 12, 2013
What kind of nonsense Attack on Titan cosplay is this? Are the other two guys supposed to look like upside-down fangs? Is that some kind of symbolism? Business predators attacking others with teeth made of other businessmen?
Surprised female head wrapped in food tray pic.twitter.com/ZQaagzVKqD
— StockFinds (@stockfinds) December 11, 2013
Wait… what?
Okay, you know what? Nope. We’ve changed our minds. This isn’t hilarious, this is terrifying. What is happening to this poor lady right now?
Man produces gases and brings a smile). pic.twitter.com/f0jyVkT4i8
— StockFinds (@stockfinds) December 8, 2013
All right, we think we’re done here.
This is just the tip of the iceberg, of course — go check out the actual Twitter if you’re curiousity’s been piqued. And don’t say we didn’t warn you. Trust us, you’re gonna see some weird stuff. Just… weird, man.
(via Business Insider, image via Stockfinds on Twitter)
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