Add another item to the list of things that George Lucas will do to beat one last round of cash out of his “once beloved accidental masterpiece.”

In a move that we’re much more familiar coming out of big studios who wouldn’t know artistic motivation if it kicked them in the pants, Lucas will be re-releasing all six Star Wars movies to theaters in 3-D, beginning in 2012 with Episode I: The Phantom Menace.   According to The Hollywood Reporter, he was inspired by Avatar.  (Not The Last Airbender.)

20th Century Fox must be pinching themselves.

Things are always better when you add another dimension to them. First we had 1-D movies like The Line and Linear, then we had much better 2-D movies like Citizen Kane and Paul Blart: Mall Cop, and now we have 3-D greats like Avatar and Up. TV has been stuck in two dimensions for far too long, but now we’re starting to see glimpses of 3-D television in the form of tons of obnoxious commercials.

But you know why it’s really not catching on? Two reasons:

Yes, James Cameron, Avatar did really happen and it was pretty cool. But that doesn’t mean you need to go back into your past and put everything into 3-D, no matter how much they celebrate the multiple-of-tenth anniversary of something. The Titanic is turning 100 in 2012, and what better way to celebrate the hundredth anniversary of the tragic tale than by inundating theaters with crazed Titanic film fans again.

There are seriously people who went to see this film more times than its been years since the Titanic crashed. And 15 years later there will be an entire new generation of young DiCaprio enthusiasts to horde into the multiplex. There’s money to be made here for sure, but couldn’t we get a 3-D version of a movie that makes more sense in 3-D? You know, like anything else?

There were rumors that this (travesty) might happen, but they were confirmed at All Things Digital. Here’s a brief telling of said confirmation, courtesy of a Switched article with a distinctly Cameron-is-full-of-himeself tone:

Somewhere between talking about all things James Cameron, Hollywood, and James Cameron, the director was asked about the possibility of a 3-D Titanic re-release. Mincing no words, he responded, “We’re not thinking about doing that, we’re doing it. We’ll have it ready for the ship’s 100th anniversary.”

Roger Ebert is one of the most beloved film writers of all time and, recently, as he’s bravely battled the effects of cancer and its treatment, the esteem people have for him has only gotten greater.

However, at the same time, he’s also been showing another side to his persona; a crotchety old man who refuses to acknowledge that video games could ever be considered an artform. While his views on video games are pretty indefensible (the computer animators who design the entire world and the writers who plot out the entire game aren’t artists?), there’s one area where his Luddite sensibilities are right on the money. In an article in the current Newsweek, Ebert claims that 3-D movies are nothing but a trashy gimmick whose only real purpose is to steal extra money from audiences and this writer, at least, thinks he’s 100% right.

Hollywood Elsewhere refers us to this piece of software, which makes the dubious claim that it can convert any movie to 3-D.  I say dubious, because no where does it explain exactly how it does it; how it manages to get two slightly different angles of perspective on each frame of the movie.  Commenters in the thread point out that in addition to the software you will need glasses, and the better your video card and bigger your monitor, the better.

Some other commenters wanted to know how the software worked on some of their favorite movies, like The Breakfast Club, Away From Her, and In the Land of Women.

This put us in the mood to figure out the movies for which this kind of thing is LEAST useful, after the jump.

Now that the Harry Potter franchise is finally kicking the bucket (in 2011 with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II), Warner Brothers is looking for another cash cow of beloved characters to drive its infernal engine, and it didn’t have to look far.

Yesterday, at Showest, WB head Alan Horn said this:

As we ease out of Harry Potter, we hope to bring you the excitement of the DC [Comics] Library!

This would imply that DC character based movies will be released yearly, like the Harry Potter films, and, according to another Showest announcement, will be in 3-D.