geekosystem

In what's bound to be one of the defining events of our generation, a Norwegian truck burst into flames after it's cargo -- about 27 tons of goat cheese -- caught fire. One day, your children will ask "Where were you, noble elder, when the Great Cheese Fire of 2013 struck?" Hopefully, you'll be able to say you were nowhere near the scene, because the truck and its payload have produced a dangerous mixture of toxic gasses that may leave the traffic tunnel it was driving through closed down for weeks.

No other food in the world induces such rabid hunger and adoration than the mere utterance of the divine dairy product otherwise known as cheese. Since time immemorial, everyone from the lowliest commoner to the most powerful of emperors indulged in the oftentimes smelly delicacy. Historians have debated the issue of the exact point in time in which man had taken to cheesemaking, some arguing that it happened as early as 8,000 BCE when prehistoric farmers began taming livestock. Others say it happened as late as 3,000 BCE. However, archeological findings in Poland suggests that cheese was made and prepared around 7,000 BCE, a bit farther up the time scale.

I don't even know how to come at this. Basically, what you're seeing here is a cheeseball man comprised of 3 balls of Velveeta cheese and covered in Philadelphia cream cheese. How does that make you feel? That feeling comes courtesy of the Charles Phoenix Test Kitchen, where this abomination was built, melted, and then eaten with chips. The idea is to use him as a dip, which works, I guess, if you're into dip that is made out of cheese and cheese with like 6 pieces of vegetables in it. And also if you're into torture. Of course, this top hat isn't magical, otherwise he'd be screaming in agony and demanding that you adopt a healthier diet.

In what seems to be a slap in the face towards fossil fuels, the Exige 270E Tri-fuel sports car runs on three things: chocolate, cheese, and wine. As catchy as that is, it's actually a somewhat deceptive marketing ploy. This sexy looking car designed by Lotus Engineering actually runs on ethanol, technically, but it derives that ethanol from the aforementioned products and can use that ethanol to go from 0-60 in under 4 seconds.

So it runs on chocolate, cheese, and wine in the same way that your normal car runs on dead dinosaurs. Still, it makes for an interesting angle on ethanol and the myriad ways to produce it that don't involve, you know, boring into the earth and robbing her of both her innocence and natural beauty. In regard to these three products, ethanol is typically made from whey, from the cheese-making process; surplus chocolate (as if); and low-grade wine. Still, I prefer to use those things to fuel my body, but maybe that's just me.

In yet another example of real news almost being less believable than The Onion (no really), last week Wisconsin declared that Lactococcus lactis was the official state microbe.

The New York Times reports:

“The first time I heard the idea, I thought, I’ve got more important things to do than spending my time honoring a microbe,” said Gary Hebl, a Democratic state representative who proposed the bill which, he says, would make Wisconsin the first state in the nation to grant such a designation. “But this microbe is really a very hard worker.”