1. Weird

    Breaking News: Digestive Biscuits Have Chocolate On The Bottom, Not the Top

    Leave it to the UK to name their cookies "digestives," right? It sounds like an unappetizing experience, but trust me when I saw that they're actually really delicious. Of course, as it turns out, I've been eating them wrong this entire time like the incompetent American heathen that I am. But that's okay: so has most of England.

    Read on...
  2. Science

    Mars Bar Inc. Studying the Life Saving Benefits of “Chocolate Pills”

    The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and Mars Inc. (maker of M&Ms and Snickers bars) are collaborating on a study to determine if daily "chocolate pills" will reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke. Obviously the candy peddlers have a vested interest in the outcome, so I should probably conduct my own research, right? Just to be sure.

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  3. Science

    Oompa Loompa Doopity Docolate, Scientists Can Now Authenticate Premium Chocolate

    Scientists (pictured above) have finally discovered a way to authenticate claims that chocolate is "premium" and not secretly sub-premium Slugworth nonsense. It's a great day for humanity.

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  4. Weird

    Hungry? Here, Have Some Chocolate Buttholes

    Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof, we currently live in a world where it is indeed possible to purchase fine chocolate molded in the shape of a asshole. Truly, this is the most blessed timeline of all.

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  5. Weird

    Visual Anatomy’s Collection of Assorted Body Part-Shaped Chocolates Are Fun For the Whole Family

    Most everybody loves chocolate. Most everybody also has a similar set of functioning human organs. "Why not combine these two common interests into one delectable treat?" the team at Visual Anatomy thought. "There's no way that will creep anybody out or anything!"

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  6. Science

    Scientists Unravel Chocolate Genome, Scientifically Superior Chocolates in Our Future

    This weekend was very upsetting for me, from the death of All in the Family star Jean Stapleton to... well, Game of Thrones was pretty rough last night, y'all. At times like this, the greatest remedy for profound emotional devastation is a whole bunch of chocolate slammed right down my facehole. Good to know that the open access journal Genome Biology is looking out for me there, as they've released a fully sequenced genome for the cacao plant which may one day lead to better tasting chocolate. 

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  7. Weird

    You Got Chocolate In My Peanut Butter! And Both of Them In My Oil Spill!

    Fact: There is no situation in life so bleak that it can't be improved, if not entirely solved, by a liberal application of candy. For proof of this statement, look no further than a recently developed chemical that promises to use the ingredients in peanut butter and chocolate to clean up oil spills, like the one that resulted from the Deepwater Horizon disaster. Because like the Planeteers, when chocolate and peanut butter combine their powers, there is pretty much nothing they can't do -- including save the environment.

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  8. Science

    Adding Fruit Juice to Chocolate Cuts Its Fat in Half

    A lot of people love chocolate; it's rich, it's creamy, it's sweet, and it's just delicious. However, all that chocolatey goodness comes at a cost in the form of chocolate's high fat content, but thanks to researchers from the University of Warwick, we may soon be able to eat chocolate without guilt. The team found that, by adding fruit juice, chocolate loses up to half its fat, but keeps all the things that make it great.

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  9. Tech

    A DIY 3D Printed Mold That Makes a Chocolate Model of Your Face

    Hey, readers? Let's be honest for a moment with one another. A little one-on-one session. No one else is listening, don't worry, this is only the Internet. Remember how you once confided in me that you really wanted to eat your own face sometime, but still wanted to have your face after the meal, due to all of the benefits that having a face provides? Listen, I know at the time of you divulging that deep, dark -- and truth be told, super weird -- desire, I told you that it wouldn't be possible and you'd have to choose between eating your face, or having your face. Well, guess what? With this 3D printed mold that allows you to make a chocolate replica of your face, you can now have your face and eat it too.

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  10. Science

    Study Links Regular Chocolate Consumption to Lower Body Mass Index

    Most of us can agree that chocolate is delicious. However, we probably also agree that eating a lot of it is probably not a good thing from a dietary or waistline standpoint. However, a new study from the University of California, San Diego suggests that people who eat chocolate on a regular basis may actually be skinnier than people who do not indulge as often.

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  11. Weird

    Make Your Own Hot Chocolate on a Stick

    Kristi over at 30 Pounds of Apples has provided the Internet with a way to fancy up their hot chocolate, but keep it about as instant as the powdered mix that comes in a box. Presenting: Hot chocolate on a stick, complete with marshmallows. Once the sticks are made, simply submerge a stick in hot milk and after about four to five minutes, the cube dissolves, creating a smooth hot chocolate.

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  12. Space

    Eating These Planet Chocolates Puts Space In Your Stomach

    You want to try something really out of this world? Try these planetary chocolates. They let you put space in your stomach. Japanese chocolatiers L’éclat have developed this novel little line of chocolate balls to represent each of the -- it pains me to say this -- 8 planets in the solar system. Each planet boasts a different flavor loosely based on its appearance. The whole set is roughly $50 dollars, but the chance to make some really good Uranus jokes is priceless. Check out closeups and awkwardly Google-translated flavor descriptions after the jump.

    Read on...
  13. Science

    Car Fueled by Chocolate, Cheese and Wine, Sort Of

    In what seems to be a slap in the face towards fossil fuels, the Exige 270E Tri-fuel sports car runs on three things: chocolate, cheese, and wine. As catchy as that is, it's actually a somewhat deceptive marketing ploy. This sexy looking car designed by Lotus Engineering actually runs on ethanol, technically, but it derives that ethanol from the aforementioned products and can use that ethanol to go from 0-60 in under 4 seconds.

    So it runs on chocolate, cheese, and wine in the same way that your normal car runs on dead dinosaurs. Still, it makes for an interesting angle on ethanol and the myriad ways to produce it that don't involve, you know, boring into the earth and robbing her of both her innocence and natural beauty. In regard to these three products, ethanol is typically made from whey, from the cheese-making process; surplus chocolate (as if); and low-grade wine. Still, I prefer to use those things to fuel my body, but maybe that's just me.

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  14. Weird

    Band Releases Song On Playable, Edible Chocolate Record

    Scottish band FOUND has released their song "Anti Climb Paint" on an edible chocolate record. Created by baker Ben Milne of Fisher & Donaldson, the idea for the 7" record came out of wanting to collaborate with the band.

    Milne is friends with the members of FOUND, who filmed the video for the song in the bakery’s kitchen. The band includes Ziggy Campbell (lead vocals, guitar), Tommy Perman (bass guitar, synth) and Kev Sim (electronics, percussion) who describe their sound as an unusual mix of garage rock, melodic pop and glitchy electronica. While the chocolate record will be released for only a very limited run, this is one sweet idea that will certainly attract attention. But what we really want to know is what happens to the sound when it starts to melt?

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  15. Weird

    Just In Time for Valentine’s Day: Creepily Realistic Chocolate Heart

    Nothing says "I love you!" quite like a disturbingly realistic recreation of the human heart cast in chocolate. I hope that the chambers each have a different filling. I call caramel, but I'll take cherry creme if I must. (Naoto Fukasawa via Laughing Squid)

    Read on...
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