CNN

Solar Storms Could Devastate Technology, Cause $2 Trillion in Damage. Thanks A Lot, Sun!

by Jamie Block | 1:38 pm, June 10th

Don’t panic or anything, but there just might be the possibility that an upcoming solar storm could devastate out technological infrastructure, causing up to $2 trillion in damages and generally terrifying everyone out of their minds.

There have been past solar storms like those now being predicted, but Earth has always lucked out, escaping the line of fire. But according to CNN, scientists now warn that “the Sun is waking up from a deep slumber.” That can’t be good.

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Vital Information for Your Everyday Life

Bros Icing Bros: Site Spreads What Could Be the Greatest, Worst Drinking Game Ever

by Jon Bershad | 3:00 pm, May 26th

Have you been iced? No, this has nothing to do with the mafia. It actually has to do with that other evil scourge that has infiltrated the underside of American culture: Smirnoff Ice.

Fortune has posted an article about the website BrosIcingBros.com. A site dedicated to posting pictures of unfortunate bro victims who have been “iced.” What is Icing, you’re now asking? It’s only the greatest ~~stupidest~~ drinking game ever!

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Bill Nye The Science Guy Evaluates Oil Spill Cleanup Solutions

by Frances Martel | 4:00 pm, May 23rd

Bill Nye the Science Guy, by now a bona fide cable news pundit, helped CNN evaluate different oil spill solutions submitted by YouTube users. Some, like one user suggesting further drilling, confused him, and the various items people suggested tossing over the oil– sand, hay, a ShamWow-like towel– he seemed to find were on the right track, but some might work better than others.

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Pics or it didn't happen

That’s Not How it Works: CNN Thinks Google Earth “Blurred” Times Square After Bomb Scare

by Susana Polo | 1:12 pm, May 2nd

Last night there was a bomb scare in Times Square, New York, that was less a scare than an actual, you know, bomb. The “amateurish” car bomb was an SUV carrying three canisters of propane, ten gallons of gasoline, and some fireworks. While it’s a bit beyond our purview to cover the event itself (we’ll leave it to Mediaite), we did notice something funky on CNN.

Weekend CNN Newsroom anchor Don Lemon was alarmed that he was unable to get a clear picture of the Times Square area on Google Earth. After using blurred footage from Google Earth as an illustration of the tight security around the area, he asked his guest, Tom Fuentes, former FBI Assistant Director of International Relations, what this might mean.

His guest’s answer was not exactly… well. Informed.

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I'll Just Leave This Here

Your Prescribed Dose of Neil DeGrasse Tyson

by Susana Polo | 5:28 pm, May 1st

Stephen Hawking was quoted last week on the possibility of alien life in the universe:

If aliens visit us, the outcome would be much as when Columbus landed in America, which didn’t turn out well for the Native Americans.

This Tuesday, CNN had Neil Degrasse Tyson on, to weigh in on Hawking’s bold pronouncement. Professor Tyson’s responses are befitting of an arguable spiritual successor to Carl Sagan.

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Conan O’Brien’s Twitter Pal Sarah Killen Makes Her Big Debut (w/ Video)

by Frances Martel | 5:39 pm, March 10th

19-year-old Sarah Killen has become America’s most beloved celebrity-for-no-reason since Levi Johnston and this time, the love isn’t ironic.

Killen, whose life changed dramatically when a bored, unemployed Conan O’Brien decided to follow her on Twitter at random, has been making the internet media rounds since last Friday, answering questions about her wedding, her newfound fame, and all the freebies that came with it. Today she made the jump from the web to national television.

Video after the jump:

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The Unintentional Hilarity of Twitter Spam Bots

Back Alley Internet is a recurring column in which we explore some of the weirder corners of the Internet and see what we can drudge up for your amusement and education. This week: We study the legions of Twitter bots that trawl the trending topics and spit out some unintentionally hilarious tweets.

Tweetosystem

Eric Limer You have to tew two tutus?! I have to tew two tutus too!
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Max The Pizza and Pasta Foundation supports the federal SAUCE act. Ask your congressman to put some SAUCE on it!
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Eric Limer I like how if you make a mistake typing a popular URL, invariably the site you find is all "YOU'RE WINNER!" It's uplifting for a second.
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Max Spam for work involves a false teeth supplier and someone looking to buy magnetic plates.
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Eric Limer So that improv show was definitely a good idea. Ben Schwartz, Zach Woods, Justin Long, AND Adam Scott. #EverythingWentBetterThanExpected
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Max Got a lot crossed off my to-do list tonight, and I'm starting to feel significantly less freaked about about, well, life.
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Eric Limer I need trephination like I need a hole in the head.
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Max AIM CHAT: I like you, too. *belushis*
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Eric Limer Listening to Call Me Maybe and cropping screengrabs of Twitter bots. It's times like this that I really love my job.
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James Plafke Popular rapper Ladies Love Removed Eyes.
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Eric Limer I am genuinely enjoying using So.cl to make weird picture mash-ups. I just made a collage of becks. http://t.co/ulGbDbwn
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Eric Limer This Facebook IPO coverage needs to stop cuz I'm seriously sick of seeing Zuckerberg staring creepily at me from the top of every story.
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Max Put on your poodle skirts and choose your favorite syrup because we're gonna have a sock-hop at the iHop.
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James Plafke I just threatened my mom to email me something by telling her I'd discuss with her all the lady celebrities I'd have sex with.
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Max New Hallmark Card: "I held an extended conversation with you without being able to remember your name" Inside: "I'm sorry."
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Eric Limer To any of you bros who might like to ice me, I encourage you to act on that urge, bro.
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Eric Limer If anyone is looking for some totally garbled, nigh-incomprehensible ad copy, I'm your man.
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Eric Limer What? None of my Facebook friends are on So.cl? How can this be?!
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Eric Limer "Does this mustache look creepy? Experts are blind; can't tell."
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Rollin Bishop Lin Beifong is suddenly one of the best things about Legend of Korra.
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