1. Tech

    Possible Computer Glitch Causes All Doors in Florida Prison to Open

    Say what you want about the Florida justice and penal systems, but... well, yeah, say what you want, because they're both awful. Especially at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami, where all the cell doors opened for no reason. In other news, this absolutely happened in a Dave Barry novel once. I'm pretty sure it was Big Trouble.

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  2. Tech

    Whoops! Florida May Have Accidentally Banned All Computers And Smartphones

    Well, this is embarrassing. A new bill passed by the Florida legislature and signed into law by Governor Rick Scott may have the unintentional consequence of outlawing all computers and smartphones throughout the state. While it seems like this could just be a hassle for folks in Florida, it's actually a national tragedy -- after all, with Florida gone from the Internet, how are the rest of us supposed to laugh at the cockroach-eating, firefighter-assaulting antics of the Sunshine State? We'll have to find a whole new state we can all agree to make fun of! Actually, that shouldn't be too hard. Lace up your cleats, Oregon -- you're going in!

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  3. Tech

    This Software Looks At Your Face, Knows Your Name

    My brother John just has that John look about him. He's just got know, weird John look. Could you tell looking at him? I don't know, probably not. (And I wouldn't recommend it.) But you know what probably could? New software, created at Cornell University, can take a look at your face and take an educated guess on what your name is. That's right, it's profiling you. Because it's not enough to empower robots with cloud intelligence or crime prediction -- now we're letting them collect our faces. What can go wrong?

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  4. Tech

    Survey Says: American TV Watchers Can’t Handle Only One Screen at a Time

    You might think you're happy just watching TV, but if you're American, you might also suddenly feel the need to figure out where else you've seen that actor -- you know, What's-His-Face -- while you're watching. Best to look him up on IMDb with your smartphone, maybe even see if Netflix has it. Also, you might want to check if anyone commented on your Facebook status before the show's over. See, a new survey conducted by NPD says that TV-watching Americans are increasingly unsatisfied with just one screen at a time. 87% of viewers with a second-screen device will use it while watching the first one.

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  5. Tech

    It Just Got Real: China Sanctions Real-Name Registration Requirements for Internet Users

    Not too long ago, the Chinese government had been toying with the notion of approving a proposal requiring real-name registration for Internet users when working with service providers and similar vendors. This procured registration information would then be stored in a data system that could possibly be accessed by the authorities to monitor the online day-to-day activities of the general public. Many concerned citizens feared that this proposed controversial move would be an encroachment on the free speech online anonymity brings -- especially in a nation notorious for censorship crackdowns on those that dispense unpopular opinions against China's ruling body. It looks like those fears have been made real since the government has sanctioned the real-name registration proposal, putting the public's private affairs on shaky ground.

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  6. Tech

    Old School Gadgets Play Fun’s “We Are Young,” Set the World on Fire, Burn Brighter Than the Sun

    There's something to be said when antiquated technology is totally hip to today's music scene and reproduces it in their own computerized language. Now the machines have something to play over the loud speakers to boost the morale of human slaves as they toil away, assuming our soon-to-be technological overlords even choose to keep us meatbags around. While that day is still a ways off, why not get a jump start listening to the rigid and lifeless rendition of Fun's "We Are Young," which we guarantee will be topping the charts in our not-too-distant-post-apocalyptic future!

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  7. Tech

    Apple Unveils Impossibly Thin iMac, Somehow Manages to Fit an Impressive Computer Inside

    The majority of Apple's design focus as of late, barring the iPad Mini, seems to have been making everything they can thinner, wider, and with more screen space than ever. None of Apple's newest announced products represent this maxim more than the newest iteration of the iMac. Coming in either 21.5 or 27 inches, this version tapers down to an almost impossibly thin 5mm edge. To put things in perspective, that's about the width of five paperclips. That's not all that it has going for it, either.

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  8. Tech

    Raspberry Pi Model B Now Includes 512MB RAM Worth of Filling, Still Not a Delicious Pastry

    One of the major selling points of the Raspberry Pi is that delectable $35 price point. That's the high-end model at that price; they don't get more expensive than that. There's been some clamoring for a new model featuring 512MB worth of RAM, though. According to the folks behind the Raspberry Pi, it's one of the most common suggestions. Rather than crafting a new model with extra RAM and charging more for it, however, they've simply decided their old $35 Model B will include 512MB from here on in.

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  9. Weird

    Man Surrenders Home Office to New Baby, Constructs Mobile One From IKEA Parts

    Having a child is an event that can end up starting a series of compromises. After all, you've got to make room in your life for another human that's quite a bit smaller and relies on others for everything. Ian, from Los Angeles, even had to give up his home office to accommodate the new screaming bundle of joy in his life. This was apparently seen as a challenge, because Ian went on to create an impressive mobile home office out of IKEA bits and pieces.

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  10. Tech

    New Software Understands Art As Well As Any Critic, Art’s Deathwatch Begins In Earnest

    Alright everybody, it's time to just hang it up as a species -- computers are just better than us. In addition to all the complex calculations in math and science machines can do, they are also now just as good at art criticism as us. Computer scientists at Lawrence Technological University in Michigan decided to test the notion that machines are incapable of recognizing art. Turns out, we can consider that one thoroughly debunked.

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  11. Tech

    Sophos Antivirus Software Flags Self as Threat, Deletes Important Bits

    No antivirus software is without quirks and faults. Even so, having the piece of code that's meant to be protecting your computer from malicious outside forces start going haywire doesn't exactly build confidence in its ability to actually perform as intended. That's exactly what the antivirus products of Sophos did yesterday. Specifically, said products decided that they themselves were malware and carried out the rest of their duties.

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  12. Tech

    Forget Bloatware; Some New Computers Come Equipped With Malware

    There's a nasty little habit where computer manufacturers, or really any tech manufacturer, install software on the machine that is absolutely worthless before it hits store shelves. There programs are frustrating, but they ultimately constitute what amounts to a minor annoyance. On the other hand, it appears there's a new trend going on: Installing malware prior to purchase.

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  13. Tech

    “Todai Robot” Artificial Intelligence Trying To Enter Tokyo University

    As if getting into a good school, paying off your student loans, and learning proper hygiene procedures weren't enough troubles, college students are about to have another concern on their hands in the form of competition from robots. Japanese researchers at Fujitsu are working on an artificial intelligence program that is smart enough to get into the prestigious University of Tokyo. The hardest part, oddly enough, is getting the AI, affectionately known as Todai Robot, to pass the math portion of the entrance exam. While computers are generally very good at math, that's only half the battle here. The calculations come easily to Todai Robot, understanding the questions is another matter.

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  14. Science

    Tiny Drops Of Water Can Be Used For Basic Computing

    Researchers at Aalto University have devised a way to convert tiny drops of water into encoded digital information, building a simple computer out of just water droplets and a water-repellant surface. A new study in the journal Advanced Materials demonstrates that, using a hydrophobic surface that causes water to bead up and roll off, researchers can follow the trails of individual water droplets along paths in the surface. That predictability allowed researchers to build simple computers like a memory device that tracks the droplets and encodes them as bits of information, with drops on one track representing ones and drops on the other representing zeroes. They even demonstrated machines that can use the technology to complete basic Boolean operations.

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  15. Tech

    Estonia to Offer Computer Programming for Kids in Grade School

    Teaching children how to program computers is, in many ways, teaching them logic at its finest. Computers are essentially the ultimate example of cause and effect. Using computer programming in the curriculum is often reserved for upper level grade school or college, but a program in Estonia could soon change all that. The Tiger Leap Foundation has launched a pilot program called ProgeTiiger which will work to introduce Estonian schoolchildren to computer programming as early as first grade.

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