1. Entertainment

    A Dark Day In Riverdale: Archie To Die A Violent Death In Upcoming Issue

    Excuse me if the above image makes me miss the simpler stories of my youth: Archie Comics CEO John Goldwater says Riverdale's everyman Archie Andrew will meet his maker in an upcoming issue of Life With Archie, and judging from the cover, his demise may be disturbingly adult.

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  2. Weird

    Pennsylvania Man Survives Chainsaw to the Neck, Lives to Tell About It, Earns Geekosystem’s Admiration

    Just another normal day on the job, doing your usual tasks, sawing some wood, when suddenly the chainsaw you're using gets out of control and attacks your neck. That usually ends in tragedy, but for James Valentine of Pennsylvania it ends in everyone thinking you're a total badass. He survived.

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  3. Science

    Science Can Use Your Blood To Determine If Your Death Is Imminent

    You know how you're supposed to live life to the fullest because any moment could be your last? Turns out, science may have figured out a way to pin that time-frame down a bit for you. With new blood tests, researchers from Finland and Estonia think they can tell whether or not you're going to live beyond the next five years.

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  4. Uncategorized

    Be Buried in Bacon Coffin After Dying at an Early Age Because of Your Love for Bacon

    Okay, that's it, Internet. You've ruined bacon for me. Seriously, I was with y'all when it came to the bacon jewelry and the bacon flavored jelly beans and the bacon vodka and the bacon suits -- but this bacon coffin? This is too much. Shut it down.

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  5. Science

    How and Why I’m Donating My Body to Science

    I might die some day. I know. I'm bummed too. Hopefully not anytime soon, but I started thinking about my post-death options recently after a relative's funeral. While "never die ever" is still at the top of my list, I've decided that donating my body to science should be my alternative. It's not like I'm going to be doing anything with it after I'm dead. I might as well help science.

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  6. Science

    Make It Count, Dude: Spider Species Dies After Having Sex

    I know the human dating game can seem rough at times, but the fact of the matter is, we have it pretty good. Don't believe me? Consider if you will the sorry state of Dolomedes tenebrosus, the dark fishing spider. A recent study of the spiders, common around the American midwest, found that males of the species get a grand total of one shot at breeding -- immediately after copulation, their work on this Earth done, the creatures promptly curl up and die.

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  7. Weird

    Russian Airliner Makes Seven Trips With Dead Guy Frozen in Wheel Well

    Russian authorities probably knew to expect nothing good when they found blood splatters near the wheel well of an Airbus 330 passenger plane operated by iFly airlines. They probably still weren't prepared for the implications of what they found, though -- a 22-year-old Georgian man dead and frozen in the plane's wheel well. What's worse? An autopsy showed that the unfortunate young man, Giorgio Abduladze, had been dead for four days, and made as many as seven trips as a deceased stowaway before his body was discovered last week. 

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  8. Tech

    What Happens to Your Email When You Die? Google’s Got a Solution

    There are a lot of ways people can prepare for death. With things like life insurance and wills you can make sure your loved ones are taken care of, or at least not fighting over your stuff, but what happens to your virtual stuff when you die? Should your Google Docs live on even after you're gone, or should they self destruct and join you in the sweet hereafter? Now with Google's Inactive Account Manager, you can decide what happens to your digital life after your corporeal one is over.

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  9. Entertainment

    Game of Thrones Death Generator Predicts How You Would Die in Westeros

    There are a lot of things I love about Game of Thrones -- the political intrigue, the astounding sets and costumes, the characters you can't help but love even when you should probably kind of hate them. But if I'm being honest, the creative violence that is the calling card of the series is right near the top of its virtues list. George R.R. Martin isn't afraid to kill off any character at the drop of a hat, and he can usually be counted on to do so in a novel, or at least quite graphic, fashion. Death is a big part of life in Westeros, and the fine folks over at Vulture have recognized this fact by putting together a random death generator for the series that shows some of the many ways you can go to your grave in Westeros. You can see some of the best ways to bow out below, but beware -- potential spoilers lay ahead if you're not caught up. Also: Why aren't you caught up, the new season starts in like three days, get your head right!

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  10. Science

    It’s Dangerous to Go Alone! Solo Pop Stars Twice as Likely to Die Young as Those in Bands

    Rock stars and pop idols are well known for their propensity to live hard, die young, and leave behind a grotesquely booze-swollen corpse. According to a study in the journal BMJ Open, though, solo music stars are twice as likely to die young as entertainers who make their name as part of a band. Presumably, this is because while being part of a band has the detrimental effect of meaning you always have someone around to help you mainline a shot of Jack, it also means that there's someone awake enough to call the amublance when that goes pretty much the only way it can.

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  11. Entertainment

    TLC’s Best Funeral Ever Starts in Two Weeks, Network Sinks Even Lower

    What happened to you TLC? Years ago, you used to be all about expanding the craniums of your audience, and now you spend your days doing the exact opposite by rotting our minds with senseless reality TV garbage. In yet another instance of the network showing it has no sense of personal dignity, which was lost the moment they started airing Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,TLC is airing Best Funeral Ever: A special/backdoor pilot about the Golden Gates Funeral Home taking what is typically a solemn affair and transforming it into a gaudy, irreverent spectacle that will most likely draw in millions of viewers by their noses. Who are we kidding? We're probably going to be right there watching it with everybody else.

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  12. Weird

    Man That Died After Cockroach-Eating Contest Choked to Death on Cockroaches

    In what's clearly the most shocking revelation to come out of today, it appears that the man that collapsed and died in October after a roach-eating contest has an official cause of death: Asphyxia. That is to say, Edward Archbold choked to death on a mixture of arthropod parts. Considering he was trying to cram as many of the things down his gullet as possible, this isn't all that unexpected.

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  13. Science

    Gene That Determines If You’re A Night Owl Or An Early Bird Also Makes A Handy Death Clock

    Do you have a hard time getting out of bed in the morning? Good news -- it's probably not your fault. Researchers are offering more insight into a gene that seems to govern people's sleep cycles -- mutations and variations in this gene can render people genetically predisposed to being early birds or late risers. So thanks, genetics,for taking one more item off of the "Aspects Of My Personality That I'm Actually Responsible For" list. Oh, also interesting about this gene? It may help researchers predict when you're going to die, like a gypsy made of DNA.

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  14. Entertainment

    Marvel’s Killing Off Another Prominent Character, Promises They’re Serious This Time

    It's pretty much become a tradition for Marvel and DC Comics to kill off a major character every few years when they've decided they would like some publicity. Sometimes, they even kill off characters that died previously for similar reasons. There are a few instances where the death remains justified and seems to stick for long periods of time, Gwen Stacy comes to mind, but usually it just feels like another ploy to get folks to cough up some money. Marvel's apparently doing it again, though, and says it's going to stick.

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  15. Science

    Study Shows That You’re More Likely to Die on Your Birthday Than Any Other Day

    What's the best birthday gift for the man who has everything? How about the cold, clammy touch of death's inevitable embrace? A study on over 2 million people over the course of 40 years show that birthday deaths are strikingly more common than you might think, especially when attributed to heart attack, stroke, suicide, or falls. Poisoned cakes, though not mentioned in the study, are surely a culprit as well.

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