Earlier this week, we brought you the profoundly heartening, life-affirming and 100% real, true news that North Korean archaeologists had discovered the ancient lair of a unicorn near Pyongyang
. Today, though, it is with some regret that we have to correct that story. It turns out that the story of the unicorn lair suffered in translation, and what was discovered was nothing more than a simple, everyday lair of a kirin
-- a dragon-like creature with a hooves like a cow and a unicorn-like horn. We are deeply sorry to bring you this news, which confirms once and for all that there is no light in the world and everything will be terrible forever.