geekosystem

So you've gone and caught em' all. Now what? Pokémon (maybe) are living things and you've crammed them into a tiny Poké Ball without a second thought like a savage. What's it really like in there? The real estate experts at Movoto broke it down in their latest infographic. It seems like they are either completely wonderful or horribly monstrous living conditions.

You may recall a certain Pikachu-branded Nintendo 3DS XL that hit North America earlier this year. I say "you may recall," because it's highly unlikely that you actually got your hands on one. As if taking this scarcity as a challenge, Nintendo's going to release an Eevee-branded 3DS XL that's even more limited. Like, you enter a lottery for the chance to even buy one. Yeah, that kind of limited.

Today in Things You Probably Never Thought You'd See in Your Lifetime, we present to you this: A Pokémon ballet. No, this is not a joke. I repeat, this is not a joke. This was actually performed at Creighton Lied Arts Center with choreography by Andrew Plotner. They even used music from the Pokémon Reorchestrated: Kanto Symphony by skotein. It's totally legit, and honestly kind of great.

I used to work as a substitute teacher, so I've witnessed a lot of fights over Pokémon cards, but they were all between children. The adult reaction to someone refusing to trade Pokémon cards with another kid is not to throw them to the ground, but that didn't stop Willie J. Bean. 25-year-old Bean threw an 11-year-old boy to the ground. Don't worry. The police caught 'em all. (It was just the one guy.)

If you've been on the fence as far as the Nintendo 3DS is concerned, there's now one more reason to go ahead and take the plunge: The Pikachu 3DS XL is set to launch in North America on March 24th. That's right. The favorite Electric-type Pokémon of children everywhere -- adults prefer Ampharos, obviously -- graces the cover of this particularly radiant handheld. It gets better, though, as there are perks to purchasing certain games with it.

Whenever a new species is introduced into an ecosystem it risks setting that ecosystem off balance, and that's why biologist Sudeep Chandra is worried about the increasing giant goldfish population of Lake Tahoe. The fish are not native to the lake, and could be competing with other species for food, and pooping so much that they are affecting the algae populations in the lake. The real fear of course is that the goldfish will master SPLASH and gain enough experience to eventually evolve into mighty Gyarados.

There's literally nothing I can say here to add to the glory that is the President of the United States, Barack Obama, singing the Pokémon theme song. Yes, it's technically just an amalgamation of different speeches and the like in order to approximate the theme song, but this is about as close as I'll ever get to this really happening. Either way, much praise to baracksdubs for creating this beautiful monstrosity.

Futilely wishing that this development won't be used as more justification for the misinformed anti-video game agendas of parent groups and law makers worldwide, children in Britain were met with the most unexpected of search results when scouring Google for anything related to the next installment in the Pokémon game franchise, Pokémon X: Links to a hardcore pornography website. Parents across the country no doubt spat out gallons of tea in shocked reaction to their children seeing what cannot be unseen, with many reaffirming that the Internet still has a way to go in regards to blocking minors from inadvertently stumbling upon unwholesome content.

Next to demolition derbies and monstrously sized hamburgers unfit for human consumption, America can't seem to get enough of the innumerable, money-gauging critters from Japan known across the globe as Pokémon. Demonstrating that there's a clear difference between being a devoted fan and a lunatic who lacks a firm grasp on reality, one overzealous devotee of Pikachu and company felt that it was their patriotic duty to post a petition on the White House's We the People website advocating that the nation stop sitting idly on its hands and have each of the 50 states select their own Pokémon to represent them. With a demand as bizarre as this, it's no wonder that the petition was pulled. Guess the President is more partial to Digimon.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is not a drill: A new set of Pokémon titles have been announced. Nintendo's officially pulled back the veil on Pokémon X and Pokémon Y for the Nintendo 3DS. That's not the unexpected part, though. What is somewhat unexpected is the fact that both games will be launching worldwide in October 2013. The same month it launches in Japan, it'll launch in North America.

Before we begin, no, this isn't Nintendo calling the quits on console development and becoming a third party publisher. Nor should this be taken as a sign of the impending 2012 apocalypse. Now, with that messy business out of the way, Nintendo has just released a fully functional and interactive Pokédex app designed for iOS devices. Yes, we know Nintendo would sooner die than let their money-making intellectual properties fall into the grubby hands of non-affiliated peasants, but to emphasize: This is more a superfluous portable Pokémon encyclopedia than it is an actual game, so the company, we guess, gets to maintain its integrity as a first party publisher/developer while making a few quick bucks on the side.

Artist Noelle Stevenson, author of the webcomic Nimona, has never seen certain Pokémon, but did something fun for the Internet and Pokémon fans alike, and drew specific Pokémon without ever having seen them, guided by nothing but text-based descriptions. The results are pretty hilarious, and sometimes even better than the original Pokémon itself. Check more out after the break.

Pokémon Black and White 2, the next installments of your favorite pocket monster battle games, released yesterday, and with that, the oft misguided PETA released another of their video game satires. This time, it's Pokémon Black & Blue, and even though PETA usually misses the point and regularly seems like they'd rather kill all humans than allow scientists to cure diseases using lab rats, this satire actually hits closer to the truth than some of their previous ones.

In 1997, an episode of the popular Pokémon cartoon caused over 700 people to suffer convulsions due to something called "photic seizure induction." Essentially, a series of images caused these people to experience symptoms common in bouts of epilepsy, like vomiting and convulsions. This might typically lead to a health discussion, such as how to stop this kind of event, but the United States Army actually wanted to make a weapon out of it.

Nintendo has always stuck by the notion that they'd never make a Pokémon MMO, and judging by all of the amount of available Pokémon MMOs, we find that Nintendo sure is good at sticking by notions. Because of this notion, some fans took matters into their own hands, and heavily modded the Game Boy Advance Pokémon Fire Red into a PC MMO.