geekosystem

In his continued attempts to control everything we love, today J.J. Abrams said he's in talks with Valve co-founder Gabe Newell about bringing Portal and Half-Life to the big screen. These talks are in the very early stages, and a lot can happen to derail the projects, but Abrams has said, "Both a Portal and Half-Life movie are things I want to see." Us too, Mr. Abrams. Us too.

A few weeks ago I may have said some unkind things about graphing calculators and their place in these modern times, but that was before I saw this version of Portal. That's right, someone has released a version of Portal for the TI-83 Plus and TI-84 Plus graphing calculators. Games are nothing new to the world of graphing calculators, but this makes me want to go back and not pay attention in math class all over again.

It's always fun when you order something in the mail, forget about it because standard shipping takes too long, then find it on your doorstep a week later. It's like a surprise present you gave yourself. If you're Valve, though, you get much better presents in the mail, like an enormous Portal turret from Weta Workshop.

Before you skip this because it's "another Portal video", know also that it has a healthy amount of real physics, unportalable curtains, and a man throwing a cap. Also, a lesson on funding research.

If you want to survive when a disgruntled coworker decides to flood the office with a deadly neurotoxin, you're going to need a gas mask, or a new job. This Portal gas mask, or more accurately half-mask air purifying respirator, looks like it might just be the thing for the job, but it isn't. Made by Brian Cargile, or TwoHornsUnited on DeviantART, the mask is 100% decorative, but still 100% awesome, especially if you like dressing up in black and dancing to Vogue.

We've seen some nifty Portal turrets in real life before, but not one that actually shoots. A Penn State University student created this currently frameless turret for his Advanced Mechatronics class' final project. The turret, like in the game, tracks its victims via an IP webcam, as well as shoots at them, though luckily for said victims it only shoots Nerf bullets. He's working on a frame so the thing looks more like the iconic white turret we've all come to love and fear, and yes, the turret also talks in that sing-songy, haunting voice. Check out a video of the thing in action after the break.

Portal-themed cakes are nothing new. In fact, they're kind of obligatory. That doesn't mean that they can't also be totally awesome. This mid-portal Portal cake totally takes the cake (or itself, I guess) when it comes to awesomeness. What's more, in addition to having what very well may be the coolest cake to ever grace the face of this planet, this kid also seems to have a killer portal gun. Color me jealous. And bring me a slice of cake, please.

No one in their right mind would ever want to work for Aperture Science. Pretending to work for Aperture Science, on the other hand, could be kind of fun, and significantly safer. At the request of his awesome wife, Willsonman built this Aperture Science Enrichment Center case mod that lets you have a little bit of Portal on the device you're playing Portal on. Check out the whole Portal-themed rig below.

Geekdom has thrust one fictional robotics company led by a rogue A.I. with an extremely soothing voice upon a pedestal. Geekdom also loves when their charming, scatterbrained Time Lord fights a rogue alien species encased inside a garbage can robot with a plunger arm that has the most annoying voice of all time, ever, out of anything. It was a only a matter of time before the two things combined, and now we have this rendering of an Aperture Science Dalek. Cake, and EXTERMINATION, will be available at the conclusion of this post.

When it comes to games, you've got your video games, and you've got your everything else. Usually when there's crossover, it's because a non-video game is crossing over to the digital world, but in a fun little reversal, Tom Scott and friends ported some video games such as Minecraft, Portal, and The Crystal Maze to a classic physical game: Mini golf.

Though Portal 2 released quite a while ago with a couple of its own new, catchy songs, the original Portal's "Still Alive" by Jonathan Coulton is, ahem, still alive and kickin'. We've seen it played by a quartet of floppy drives, and while that was mightily impressive, this rendition by Chris DePrisco, played by a laser etching the Aperture logo into metal, is nothing short of incredible. Check out the video below.

Some may say The Simpsons hasn't been good for years -- double-digit years, even -- and whether or not that is true, the writers of the show have seemingly been trying to appeal to a very specific audience the past couple of seasons. Not too long ago, the Simpsons family went to E3 and there were a load of video game parodies, including God of War, then last week, the show's iconic title sequence did a stellar parody of the Game of Thrones title sequence. Last night, toward the beginning of the episode, we have a Portal gag. The writers sure seem to be attempting to appeal to the geekier audience lately. We're not opposed to it. Full scene after the break.

Nintendo's venerable Super Mario Brothers has been a video game staple for nearly three decades, while Vavle's Portal was a surprise hit from five years ago. Clearly, these two needed to get together and create a bizarre retro platform shooter with portals and physics. Fortunately, that's just what the fine folks over at Stabyourself have done with Mari0, and you can download it for free right now.

Volpin Props is pretty good at making nearly identical versions of Portal items in real life. After tackling Half-Life 2's gravity gun, the next item on the list was the Heel Springs, Portal's lampshaded explanation as to why Chell can fall from pretty much any height and remain unharmed. Splattering all over the ground would get in the way of testing, right? Strap on your heel springs and head on past the jump without breaking anything to check out some fine do-it-yourselfmanship.

If you are getting a little sick of your tastefully designed pastel blue shower curtain with the clear liner that doesn't have enough magnets in the bottom to keep it attached to the tub, and you really dig Portal, you should probably head on over to ThinkGeek and get yourself the above Aperture Laboratories branded shower curtain. If you are willing to drop $19.99, you can show your bathroom how much you love Portal, as well as obtain what is probably the only shower curtain in existence with a footnote, which lets you know that your brand new shower curtain contains less than 1% mercury.