geekosystem

When two dead historical figures have a beef with one another, the only way to settle it is through an epic rap battle. Thankfully, there's a whole YouTube channel dedicated to just such resolutions. When we last checked in on the Epic Rap Battles of History channel, we saw Snoop Lion rapping as Moses to settle the score against Santa Claus. Now we have Keegan-Michael Key as Gandhi up against Jordan Peele's Martin Luther King Jr. It does in fact get pretty epic, but it also gets a little NSFW for some language.

Were you naughty or nice this year? You know something? It doesn't really matter since Zombie Santa Claus fully intends to sate his ravenous hunger with your sweet, sweet flesh either way. Sculpted by Justin Cissell and distributed by Of Corpse You Can, this Zombie Santa Claus ornament can be yours, bringing that horrific Yuletide touch to your Christmas tree -- sure to make for a lovely conversation piece and a source of unending nightmares for small children already struggling with a socially crippling fear of the fat man in red. For your sake, it's best just to admire him from a distance and keep your fingers away.

It's a widely accepted scientific fact that kids these days just don't fear the omnipotent judge of the righteous and damned, Santa Claus, like they once used to. Years ago, the prospect of having one's gift withheld and given a lump of coal instead was enough to convince children to behave. Today, the little brats have the absurd notion that they're entitled to being showered in free material goods. This year, things are going to be different. Cartoonist Mark Anderson has constructed the ultimate mobile weapon in bad behavior deterrence entirely out of LEGO: The LEGO Santa Claus Mech!

As geeks, we often find ourselves asking "Who would win a fight between..." but it turns out we've been asking the wrong question all along. What we should have been asking was "Who would win in an epic rap battle between..." Thankfully there's the Epic Rap Battles of History channel on YouTube, and in its latest installment they settle the biggest holiday rivalry of all: Santa Claus vs. Moses, with Snoop Dogg himself rapping as Moses.

A 24-year-old Canadian man has been arrested after walking along the route of Kingston, Ontario's Santa Claus Day Parade telling children that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. Unsurprisingly, the man -- who police described as "having his hair formed to look like horns that were protruding from his head" -- was drunk, and also in violation of his probation, which is still no good excuse for being a jagweed of this caliber.

It wouldn't be the holidays without some espionage action, right? After all, Santa manages to infiltrate millions of chimneys, snack on cookies and milk, and leave a bunch of presents underneath a tree without being noticed by the modern-day security systems many people have installed in their homes, or being arrested for breaking and entering. Luckily for us, Arthur Lee built two games in which heavy-footed, non-Santa folks like us could live out their dream of playing a Metal Gear Solid game about Santa Claus.

Constable Adam Josephs has earned online notoriety and the nickname "Officer Bubbles" thanks to the above video, in which he was caught reacting disproportionately to a young woman blowing bubbles at a protest of Toronto's G20 summit earlier this year. Actual quote: "If the bubble touches me, you're going to be arrested for assault." It's also led to a trend on YouTube: One or more users of the free online animation program Go! Animate have created a series of cartoons ridiculing "Officer Bubbles" as a heavy-handed law enforcer, arresting, among other figures, Santa Claus and Barack Obama. (You can see one such cartoon below.) As a result, Josephs is suing YouTube for defamation, to the tune of $1.2 million.