geekosystem

In a move not unlike the scene where Yogurt shills all that Space Balls merchandise, yesterday Disney pulled back the curtain on some of the items that will be on sale as part of their Star Wars Weekends. As you may have guessed, a lot of it is mouse-shaped and a little silly, but some of it I really, really want to own.

It's rare, but sometimes, in my stumbles around the Internet, I encounter a thing that has never occurred to me before and it makes my brain explode. Today, that thing was the YouTube video ALL 6 STAR WARS which, since I know you're wondering, is exactly what it sounds like -- the cacophonous blur of all six Star Wars films playing in a single YouTube video. While it's not exactly new, I feel pretty strongly that it's a thing you should know exists. By all means, take a look for yourself and settle once and for all the question, "What would it feel like to watch Star Wars while having several massive strokes?"

I seriously don't know what we'd do without YouTube-hosted pop culture mashups. We need them to help offset all the nefarious uses people have created with the Internet (malware, porn, etc.). So thank the stars we have videos like this one -- "Star Wars vs. Jurassic Park" (on the YouTube channel Slacktory) -- which combines two things that while awesome on their own, are also surprisingly awesome mashed together, sort of like a cinematic version of chocolate and peanut butter.

The annual mental health awareness event college basketball tournament that is March Madness has officially descended on us once more, leaving plenty of us out in the cold without a clue as to what, exactly, is happening. If you haven't watched a game all year but still want to be able to engage your colleagues in conversation for the rest of the week, we've got a helping hand for you in this short video that explains everything you need to know about the NCAA's biggest event of the year in a language we can all understand: Star Wars analogies.

Loose Change is a video that points out coincidences and uses scary music to convince gullible people that the September 11th attacks were an inside job. It has been a pivotal resource for 9/11 truthers and conspiracy theorists, but it never had enough Star Wars references for my liking. That's why Luke's Change: An Inside Job is so much better. It gives the weird conspiracy treatment to the attack on the Death Star in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, and it's pretty great.

Disney owns Lucasfilm -- we're past that now, right? Previously, half of adult geekdom already ranted that the prequel Star Wars films "ruined" their childhoods or some such. So now everyone still willing to keep looking at that galaxy far, far away is wondering what's really going to happen next in the franchise. (The fans of the Expanded Star Wars Universe read the novels and already theoretically know, but history has shown that movies and books seldom get along.) Also, we already know that J.J. Abrams is signed on to direct Episode VII. Finally, the rumors and quotes have been flying around the last couple of months, but now George Lucas himself has pretty much cinched it: Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Harrison Ford are probably going to feature in the new movies.

We felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of geek voices suddenly cried out in terror and suddenly went where no man has gone before. Because in the world of Presidential speech flubs -- and yes, that's a whole universe -- today's was pretty good. We geeks must set aside our differences, commiserate, and laugh together at the fact that President Obama just conflated Star Wars and Star Trek. But even the White House laughs with us.

LEGO is one of those companies that constantly and consistently produce odds and ends that are worth purchasing. They're also notorious for supporting whatever's going on in popular culture with themed sets. Case in point, the company's revealed that a new Star Wars X-wing starfighter set will be coming out in May! Rejoice! Probably the only unfortunate part is the cost, but if you're a real enthusiast that shouldn't stop you, should it?

Somebody fired a proton torpedo into the Internet's thermal exhaust port today, because it blew up with the story that Harrison Ford will definitely be returning as Han Solo in Star Wars: Episode VII. The source of the story is El Mayimbe from Latino Review, and he dropped the news on Fox News Latino, but so far there's been no official word from anyone actually in a position to make a definitive statement. Maybe we should all just take a breath here.

Thursday I wrote about a Kickstarter campaign that was trying to raise money for Death Star research, and I called it the crowdfunding site's jump-the-shark moment. My concern was that if Kickstarter starts letting stuff like that through, it would soon be overrun with nothing but joke campaigns. Now there's a campaign to fund an X-Wing squadron to stop the Death Star campaign. This is exactly the kind of thing I was talking about.

Sure, you can go the traditional hearts and flowers route on Valentine's Day, but if you read this site we're willing to bet your interests lie elsewhere. Is there a cute girl in your particle physics lab, or perhaps a handsome Dungeon Master in your life? Maybe you just want to tell your mom how special she is. Regardless, here are some geeky valentines to tell someone you love them, and if you're lucky they'll say, "I know," then get frozen in carbonite and taken away by Boba Fett.

The rumors floating around about a series of standalone Star Wars films have now been confirmed by Disney CEO Bob Iger: Yes, these are really, truly in development. Then again, of course there are standalone Star Wars films in the works. Disney owns both Lucasfilm and Marvel, and Marvel's been doing a smashing job with their movie lineup. It only makes sense that Disney, wanting the same success for Lucasfilm, would take the same approach with Star Wars. Let's all just pray they actually focus on good characters.

Prepare for a whole new round of lens flare jokes, people, as things just got real. It was initially reported this past Thursday that J.J. Abrams would be directing Star Wars: Episode VII. This news was obviously met with more than a little suspicion, especially since Abrams himself had previously said he wouldn't be doing so. Well, turns out that wasn't as definitive as everyone thought. Per a press release from late last night, it's officially official: J.J. Abrams really will be directing Star Wars: Episode VII.

What once began as a mere geeky flight of fancy appears to have become a reality now that various sources are reporting that J.J. Abrams has been given the prestigious honor of directing the upcoming Star Wars: Episode VII. Although Abrams had initially said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that he wouldn't take on the task of overseeing the cinematic future of George Lucas' influential science fiction epic, it looks as though the fan-favorite creative visionary isn't passing up the chance to guide the next chapter in the Star Wars mythology.

As you may or may not be aware, there's a petition over on We the People, which is where folks post petitions to potentially receive an official response from the United State government, requesting that the Obama administration "[s]ecure resources and funding, and begin construction of a Death Star by 2016." Like, Star Wars Death Star. Ordinarily, this would just be an amusing blip on the radar, covered by our sister site The Mary Sue back in December. That was before Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, penned an official White House response to it.