geekosystem

For those of you playing along at home, we can call it: The actual city of Philadelphia is officially just an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. That's as of Monday, when a mother and daughter there tried to beat the system and avoid paying a train fare by getting two rides on one pass, a brilliant and unique act of daring thievery that ranks alongside classics like the Great Train Robbery. Their diabolical plan would have worked, too, if it weren't for one fatal flaw: Both women managed to forget to bring the baby they had in a stroller with them, leaving the infant behind in the train station. You see, folks, this is why I've stopped taking infants on heists with me. They can really complicate a getaway.

Isn't technology great? At this rate, everything we create in ten years will be able to immediately provide us with feedback in some way, if not audibly. Our gadgets and gizmos giving us clear and concise updates out loud, rather than via some sort of text interface or gauge, is simply the best. Better than all the rest, in fact. It's not like we've been ignoring things from the past, either. Hit the jump to check out our five favorite things that we're totally glad can talk to us now.

FADE IN:

INT. CRAZY GUY'S APARTMENT - MORNING

CRAZY GUY, age unknown, wakes up to the buzzing of his alarm clock, dreading yet another day of mindless, office management duties.

He reluctantly slaps at his alarm clock, shutting it off, rolls out of bed and instead of going to work, has the best idea of all time.

CRAZY GUY

I'm going to film myself lying down on some train tracks while a train speeds overhead. This will surely terrify me into appreciating my mundane life!

EXT. TRAIN TRACKS - MORNING

Crazy Guy sets a camera up on old, rickety train tracks, then lies down in the camera's view.

The train quickly approaches and speeds overhead.

CRAZY GUY

This. This is the life.

Crazy Guy looks at his hands to make sure they're still there, checks out his right foot for the same reason, uncaring of his left one, then gets up and runs toward the camera to collect it.

FADE OUT.

(BuzzFeed via Gizmodo)

This seems like too many people to safely and comfortably fit onto a moving train. I'm surprised the recent Doctor Who series never milked this kind of joke before.

(Daily Picks and Flicks via The Daily What)

ix3623 has put together a supremely anxiety-provoking nine-and-a-half minute montage of people narrowly escaping death. Some of these are people doing stupid stunts that nearly kill them (remember kids, don't try anything like this at home for YouTube fame), but most are organic happenings. If you need an immediate adrenaline rush, jump to 5:18. (via MeFi | Creator's blog)