Designer-of-many-things Steve Hoefer may have cracked the conundrum of geeky expressions of affection with his set of Valentine’s Day cards based on the illustrations for actual U.S. patents. These will ensure that there’s no prior art … in their heart.

…And he was born on Valentine’s Day. According to the San Diego Zoo website, “We are pleased to announce the birth of our newest elephant, a male born at 2 a.m. on Sunday, February 14! His mother is Ndlula, his father is Mabhu, and his big brother is Vus’Musi. Mom and calf are doing well.”

Not really feeling Valentine’s day this year? Well, you’re in luck. Today also coincides with the Chinese New Year and the American Presidents’ Day, ensuring that no one the US will be able to eat out or get anything done until Tuesday or Wednesday at the latest, unless, of course, you made your plans beforehand. I think we can agree that “making plans beforehand” and “feeling apathetic towards a holiday” don’t relate well.

Lets take a look at these other options.

Some of these might not make the best last-minute Valentine’s Day gifts or ideas — it’s probably too late to run out to the Fukuoka fruit market or fly to Galesjnak, though heart-shaped pancakes might be doable. But this gallery of heart-shaped things should nevertheless restore your faith in things that are heart-shaped and possibly placate your underwhelmed loved one on Valentine’s Day. It’s the thought that counts, right?

So, after the overwhelming media hogwash, you’ve still forgotten that tomorrow is Valentine’s Day? Or maybe you really meant to go out and get that nice thing, but it just slipped your mind (as always, the Penny Arcade sentiment is timeless). Have no fear, Geekosystem is here.

Below the cut you will find a sampling of the best geeky Valentine cards on the Internet, just waiting for you to print them.

You’re welcome.

If you haven’t been hit over the head with it enough, Valentine’s Day is coming up on Sunday. You already know how to woo the geeky girl and pick memorable gifts, but how to make it really memorable, like, say, by saying “I love you” in Na’vi? Here’s how:

Part of what makes Randall Munroe‘s xkcd as great as it is is that even though it’s a glorious festival of math and physics jokes, it’s not one-dimensional: it’s very insightful (and funny) about dating and relationships.

Which is why, in the interest of spicing up your Valentine’s Day, we present* three years of xkcd Valentine’s Day cards. Why give a boring Valentine’s card or e-card when you can woo your love with Karnaugh maps?

Whatever your plans are this Valentine’s Day, we know you: you’re yearning, aching for something, and you don’t quite know what. Well, we think that we have just the thing to soothe your urges: a V-Day Power Grid featuring the 10 sexiest programmers ever to do some hard, hard coding.

What’s the true language of love: Yukihiro Matsumoto‘s Ruby, or Guido van Rossum‘s Python, or Larry Wall‘s Perl? Can open standards and cross-platform portability spice up a relationship? And who’s got the largest stack variables?

These answers, and more, in our rundown of  the 10 sexiest programmers.

Valentine’s Day is this Sunday.  If you didn’t know, then PSA: Valentine’s Day is this Sunday.  If you need a reminder, then, HEY, Valentine’s Day is this SUNDAY.

If you won’t be celebrating this year, then we hope you can join us in relaxing, hanging out, having a nice Sunday, and picking up some heavily discounted candy come Monday morning.  But you can probably skip this post.

Because we’d like to highlight some places to get your geek a gift.  Whether they’re a guy or a girl, whether its you or them (you can forward a link, right?).  If it won’t ship in time, hopefully we can still provide some inspiration.

We’ll start off with the obvious: Geeky retailers! 

It’s the week before Valentine’s Day, when geek blogs across the universe start unsheathing their romance sticks and smacking you with pointy splinters of advice on what to get your special dorky someone or how to woo that special nerd girl or boy.  GeekDad’s Jenny Williams came up with her own list of do’s for how to win over a geeky girl’s heart, suggestions like planning a romantic trip to a museum or making funny science jokes.  Now, I thought these were pretty good, but perhaps not good enough to truly get the girl.

Thanks GeekDad for getting the ball rolling, but I’m going to show you how to use those tips to get the geeky girl — guaranteed!