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Richard J. Atkinson, a 63-year-old man from Everett, Washington, has been sentenced to six months in jail for stabbing his (now ex-) girlfriend's parrot to death with a serving fork  while in the throes of what his lawyer described as a blacked-out rage fueled by mixing whiskey and anti-anxiety medication. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Everett -- the Florida of Washington state -- no word in that sentence should come as any great shock.

In a case of mankind finding ways to outwit itself, ArKay Beverages presents the world's first alcohol free whiskey. The forthcoming beverage is targeted at people who, for either medical, religious, or personal reasons, do not consume alcohol, but still want whiskey. A niche, but perhaps very desperate determined market. Instead of the normal distilling process, ArKay has opted to go the artificial flavoring route, meaning that their "whiskey" is 100% alcohol free, as well as FDA certified. It's also halal, and comes in either a bottle or can.

A gentleman by the name of Tyler Riewer is fortunate to have the best friends on the planet. As a birthday gift, they created a custom suitcse fitted to hold a set of brass knuckles and a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon. The custom case features the words "Life is a daring adventure, or nothing," on the exterior along with the phrase "sack up." Inside, presumably an indicator that the contents are meant to prepare one for said adventure is the legend, "two roads to courage." Frankly, I am in awe. Not only because of the choice of bourbon -- harsh stuff, but good stuff -- but the sheer precision and low-brow class of the entire affair. Sadly, this is not the kind of gift that can be bought. If you could buy it at a store, it just wouldn't be the same. Congratulations to you, Mr. Riewer. (Images and story via Laughing Squid, Tyler Riewer)

First the 31-ounce Starbucks coffee, now this: A Panamanian company called Scottish Spirits has dubiously made history by becoming the first company to sell straight whiskey in a can. (Jack Daniels sells a blended whiskey-and-cola drink in a can, which by comparison looks prim and proper.)

Why put twelve ounces, or eight shots, in one can? According to the people behind whiskey-in-a-can, it's not for enabling vagrants or fueling debauched frat parties, but for saving the environment, of course:

‘The can is the perfect size to be shared between three people who can mix it with other things like cola. ‘It’s lightweight and portable and entirely recyclable, which is good news. It will be one of the hot picks for any outdoor activities.’

The Scotch Whisky Association is not too happy about this, primarily because it thinks that people might confuse the drink with authentic Scotch on account of the company's name. Regular whiskey in a can, however, is apparently a-OK.

>>>See also: He-Man whiskey.

(Daily Mail via Gawker | Scottish Spirits' website)