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by Andrew Cedotal | 5:10 pm, March 19th
Yesterday, Tiger Woods ex-paramour Joslyn James released a transcript of her text messages from the lust-addled golfer. Being the egregious nerds that we are, we looked at this cesspit of lurid language and explicit sexytalk and saw only one thing…
…beauteous, beauteous data!
Click below to see a tag cloud of the most common words in Tiger’s sexts, generated thanks to the magic of Wordle.
Read on...
James Plafke
I am jealous Elmo got to make out with Kristin Chenoweth.
Eric Limer
I swear under my breath A LOT. This must make people near by me very uncomfortable. That being said, I have no intentions of stopping.
Max
Court is now in session at the Burp Castle.
Eric Limer
I don't look at my finances as often as I should which is the main reason why I don't often want to look at my finances.
Max
Desert PolyBus: The game where you drive to Reno and then die.
Eric Limer
If I wrote a webcomic, every strip would be titled "Get it? GET IT?!"
Max
Got chili oil on my hands and face. It hurts. A lot.
Eric Limer
Suddenly I remember what I hate about PC gaming. Mainly never having a computer that can actually do it.
James Plafke
The halftime show taught me that football-watching men drinking beer who love seeing muscular men beat each other up really like to vogue.
Max
Pestering your friends at 8am is how you show you care, right? #hopeso
Eric Limer
Twitter is like RiffTrax for EVERYTHING.
James Plafke
I know global warming is scary, but not having a winter was pretty cool. I didn't have to spend money on shoes for the snow.
Eric Limer
I hereby apologize to all persons --past, present and future-- who have the misfortune of hearing me "sing" dubstep songs.
Max
Even Facebook's Timeline thinks I could have done more with my life.
Max
I did that thing where Facebook turns your Timeline into a movie. Mine had pictures of ducks and foliage set to really dramatic music.
Max
"But I don't wanna go to the dog show!"
James Plafke
People can't stop talking about Downtown Abbey. Is it actually good, or is the rest of TV so bad that comparatively, it isn't the worst?
Eric Limer
Awful is a funny lookin' word.
James Plafke
Remember when soda cans didn't have the wide-mouth openings standard?
Max
Hopefully backsliding on my resolutions for self improvement will shame me into success!
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