This week in moral panic: High school students are apparently using vodka-soaked tampons to get drunk. Yes, the boys too. I think you can figure it out. According to the officer interviewed here, the problem is real and widespread. Not only are high school students using vodka-soaked tampons, but they are also apparently doing beer bongs rectally.
It’s at that point that I have to be a little skeptical. Vodka-soaked tampons have an element of secrecy going for them, but why do a rectal beer bong when you could do, I don’t know, a regular beer bong and leave your pants on. Besides, anal insertion just doesn’t seem to jive with the slightly awkward, slightly overcompensating, lets-drink-until-we’re-finally-comfortable-in-the-company-of-our-peers feel of a high school party.
“Man, this party sure is a sausage-fest.”
“Hey, I’ve got an idea…”
(via Viral Viral Videos)
- Beer was only recently classified as alcohol in Russia. Previously, it was classified as food
- You’re probably just better off just drinking NutLiquor
- When the high schoolers start doing rectal beer bongs of this alcohol-free whiskey, we’re in real trouble