geekosystem

We’re coming up on the close of 2012, if probably not the world as we know it, and thus, it’s a time for quiet reflection and self-inventory. As we consider the paths that led us all here, we find ourselves looking back on the year that was, and in doing so, we find ourselves saying one thing, over and over, quietly to ourselves, as is repeating a mantra – “Man, people did some stupid things this year!” Now, don’t get us wrong — it pretty unlikely that they did that many more stupid things than in years past. Seeing as these are rather fresh in our memories, though, it sure feels that way. So please, join us in taking a stroll down memory lane as we recall ten of the worst decisions, poorest choices, and dumbest ideas of the year that was.

1. No. 1 | Apple Maps

   

   Perhaps the definitive worst call of the year Apple's decision to replace Google Maps -- a trustworthy, reliable service that nothing was wrong with and everyone who has an iPhone used ALL THE TIME -- with their own in-house navigation app. If you look up the defintion of debacle in the coming years, don't be surprised if you see some of the surreal images that came out of this affair, which marks the biggest unforced error in the company's recent history -- a piece of software so bad, Australian authorities issued warnings that using it could literally KILL YOU. One can only hope that Apple takes the right lesson -- if it ain't broke, don't break it hilariously and make yourself look like an asshole trying to fix it -- out of this affair. Now that Google Maps has made its return to the iPhone, it's safe to say that Tim Cook better be putting together some pretty nice gift baskets. Apple Maps Can Kill You In Australia

2. No. 2 | Messing With Matthew Inman

   

   The Oatmeal is consistently one of our favorite cartoons on the web, so when cartoonist Matthew Inman found himself sued for libel earlier this year, we weren't that surprised when legions of fans jumped to Inman's defense, raising over $200,000 in donations to the National Wildlife Federation and the American Cancer Society instead of settling the suit. We were surprised at the way Inman took Charles Carreon, the lawyer in the case, out to the emotional woodshed, taking mocking photos of the donations that had come out of the frivolous, shot-in-the-dark suit and going so far as to send Carreon a picture of his mother seducing a bear. Operation BearLove ended up being a real hoot for us -- who doesn't love a little potty humor in their charity, after all -- but it does place messing with Inman firmly in the "Bad Ideas" category. Messing With Matthew Inman

3. No. 3 | Drag Racing The Cops In A Stolen Car

   

   Look, we get it. If you've already stolen a car, joyriding seems like the thing to do, and what better way to get some joy out of your illicitly acquired ride than to do a little street racing? If you're going to engage in this (already quite questionable) activity, we have a piece of advice -- don't choose a cop for your opponent. As a car thief in Marles County, Missouri found out earlier this year, those cars are really, really fast when they need to be, and they're generally full of people who are more than happy to arrest you for being this stupid. Moral of the story? Unless you're one of those Duke Boys, probably do not attempt this one. Drag Racing A Cop Car

4. No. 4 | This All Bacon Burger Patty

   

   Look, we love bacon as much as the next person, and probably more in most cases. There does exist in this world, though, too much of a good thing. This all-bacon burger patty -- topped with bacon cheddar cheese and a slice of bacon, because of course -- from burger chain Slater's is exactly that -- a terrifying mess that takes a good thing way, way too far. It's the sort of food-like object that makes us want to smack America's eating habits over the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Because no. Just no. Go sit in the corner and think about what you did, Slater's. You know as well as anyone that it's not ok. Bacon Burger Patty

5. No. 5 | Hitting A Firefighter With A Shovel

   

   As a rule, you can count firefighters among the people who are pretty much universally on your side. Florida's Gregory Sean Turner apparently did not get the memo. When Turner started an illegal burn in his front yard, firefighters showed up to extinguish the blaze, that being their raison d'etre. Mr. Turner took umbrage at this, striking one firefighter over the head with a shovel after unsuccessfully attempting to frighten them away from his property. Mr. Turner was, unsurprisingly, arrested for assault, as well as for setting and trying to prevent the extinguishment of the illegal fire, though not before being tasered. Attacking Firefighters With A Shovel

6. No. 6 | Selling Your Kidney For An iPad

   

   Arguments for selling your kidney: Well, you've got two, I guess? Arguments against selling your kidney: LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE. The story of Wang, a 17-year-old Chinese boy who sold a kidney to organ harvesters so he could purchase an iPad and an iPhone is, on a macro level, a sad, sick commentary on the consumerism, materialism, and fecklessness that often seem to run our world. On a more micro level, though, it's a cautionary tale about one dumb teenager that makes us glad we weren't offered this deal at 17, as we would absolutely be one kidney light right now. We'd have a Dreamcast, though -- that's not nothing. Selling a Kidney for an iPad

7. No. 7 | The Ending of Mass Effect 3

   

   A lot of people sunk a lot of their lives into the much lauded Mass Effect titles, spending years building their own Shepard. Male or female, cruel or kind, bruising warrior or subtle spy -- plenty of players had poured hours they'll never see back into the crafting of their own personal hero. So when they found out that most of those choices amounted to bupkus as the story came to a close, they were understandably upset. Developers took another swing at the finale in DLC, but never quite repaired the ill will they'd engendered by offering such a disappointing summit to a mountain many players had been climbing for years. The Ending of Mass Effect

8. No. 8 | Building A Robot That Always Wins Rock Paper Scissors

   

   It's a pretty good bet that the question of who runs the world in the future -- robots or humans -- will come down to Rock, Paper, Scissors, Shoot. It's the only fair way to determine control of the world's governments and resources, and has the potential to avoid the unnecessary shedding of a lot of blood and transmission fluid. That being the case, we can't endorse the decision to build a robot that can win the game every time. Not only will it never have to ride in the backseat of a car of pay for a round of drinks, the automaton's acumen at RPS has probably doomed us all to a life of servitude to robot masters. Unless they let us use weird stuff like "trash can" or "dynamite." And they won't, for good reason. This isn't Nam, dude. There are rules. A Robot That Always Wins At Rock Paper Scissors

9. No. 9 | Handing Sweden's Twitter Account Over To Random Swedes

   

   Sweden had an interesting idea this year. To demonstrate the diversity and richness of their nation, they would turn over the keys to the country's Twitter account -- @Sweden -- to a different Swede every week. The results were...mixed. Take for example Gunnar here, who is very confused about "the jews," and managed to remain so through a great many posts, many of which read like bad observational humor, except that things like "airline food" are replaced with "the jews." Which, believe it or not, comes off as a bit anti-semitic. When you hand your Twitter account over to some random person, though...well, you take your chances. Handing over Sweden's Twitter Account to Swedes

10. No. 10 | Congratulating A School Shooter While Threatening To Be The Next One On Facebook

    

    Just a few days ago, in the wake of the horrific shooting in Sandy Hook, Connecticut, Korry Martinson, a 19-year-old from Washington taught the nation the true meaning of "too soon," congratulating the shooter in a Facebook post. If he had stopped there, Martinson would have just been one more asshole on the Internet, albeit a particularly vile one. Of course, he did not stop there, instead going on to threaten to "shoot up" every school in a hundred mile radius of his location in Northwest Washington if his gun rights were abridged in any way following this senseless tragedy. This is, of course, a really great way to get oneself arrested, charged with felony harassment, and we can dearly hope, have one's gun ownership rights rather dramatically abridged. If that's all that happens, Mr. Martinson is getting off light. The jerk. School Shooting Threat

Let us know what you think the stupidest ideas of the year were, and have a great rest of your week and year, everyone. We  hope you’ll stay with us going into 2013, as we can’t wait to bring you the latest and greatest “people being stupid” news of the coming year. If the last 12 months are any indication, it’s going to be a doozy.

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